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  1. #1
    Forum Moderator aandwsmom's Avatar
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    Default GRRRRRR - Vent!!!

    Did you ever have someone help you with homeschooling, ie: a parent who is a retired teacher and it get to the point that you are grinding your teeth?

    I love my Mom to death and she is a retired middle school teacher which is VERY helpful sometimes, since both boys are in middle school grades.

    Today, is NOT one of those days!
    She did a writing program for the boys last year and it went ok, I personally think she went a little overboard on it....but that is me and I felt it was good for the boys to have a 2nd teacher, etc.
    Well, this year she wants to make it harder because she feels that they are not ready for real school quality work. She insists that if they had to take the California test, they would fail.
    Really easy for her to make it harder when she lives 6 hrs away and doesnt have to work with the boys on her stuff daily. UGH!
    And the boys will never be tested in Calif., we live in Oregon.
    Then she wants to know if they have studied the constitution and bill of rights and know all the amendments. Kids should have that in middle school and again in high school.
    She didnt like my answer, I could tell. I told her that oldest DS did some in 7th grade T4L SS last year and in my opinion, unless you are going into government.....a little goes a long way. I told her I didnt retain it, I know the basics and that is all most people should know. Then I asked her how much SHE retained. She didnt like that....LOL
    Then she wanted to know if the boys had World Geography. I said they have studied anicent civilizations, etc. No, she wants to know that if they were told to point out Vietnam on a map could they do it. I told her that Oregon schools do not even teach States and Capitals, much less Geography unless it corresponds to something but we would get into it at some point.
    Personally, I wanted to be smart aleck and ask can you immediately point out places on a map if asked?
    UGH!!!
    I am sure she feels like the boys are lacking in stuff but unless I cram school into them 24/7... I am trying to play catchup from all the public school didnt teach them from K-5th. And the whole point of homeschool is to work at our pace on our schedule and teach what we want, within reason so they can pass their required tests at certain grade levels.
    She wants 3 days of writing weekly, 30 min. each day. I think that is insane and the boys will hate it and it will become a fight.
    I just want to tell her to forget the writing part but I also know it is good for them.
    It has been one of those frustrating, doubting my homeschool choice - kind of morning. I hate those.
    Off to bang my head against the wall for awhile.....
    Thanks for letting me vent!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member MamaMary's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aandwsmom View Post
    Did you ever have someone help you with homeschooling, ie: a parent who is a retired teacher and it get to the point that you are grinding your teeth?

    I love my Mom to death and she is a retired middle school teacher which is VERY helpful sometimes, since both boys are in middle school grades.

    Today, is NOT one of those days!
    She did a writing program for the boys last year and it went ok, I personally think she went a little overboard on it....but that is me and I felt it was good for the boys to have a 2nd teacher, etc.
    Well, this year she wants to make it harder because she feels that they are not ready for real school quality work. She insists that if they had to take the California test, they would fail.
    Really easy for her to make it harder when she lives 6 hrs away and doesnt have to work with the boys on her stuff daily. UGH!
    And the boys will never be tested in Calif., we live in Oregon.
    Then she wants to know if they have studied the constitution and bill of rights and know all the amendments. Kids should have that in middle school and again in high school.
    She didnt like my answer, I could tell. I told her that oldest DS did some in 7th grade T4L SS last year and in my opinion, unless you are going into government.....a little goes a long way. I told her I didnt retain it, I know the basics and that is all most people should know. Then I asked her how much SHE retained. She didnt like that....LOL
    Then she wanted to know if the boys had World Geography. I said they have studied anicent civilizations, etc. No, she wants to know that if they were told to point out Vietnam on a map could they do it. I told her that Oregon schools do not even teach States and Capitals, much less Geography unless it corresponds to something but we would get into it at some point.
    Personally, I wanted to be smart aleck and ask can you immediately point out places on a map if asked?
    UGH!!!
    I am sure she feels like the boys are lacking in stuff but unless I cram school into them 24/7... I am trying to play catchup from all the public school didnt teach them from K-5th. And the whole point of homeschool is to work at our pace on our schedule and teach what we want, within reason so they can pass their required tests at certain grade levels.
    She wants 3 days of writing weekly, 30 min. each day. I think that is insane and the boys will hate it and it will become a fight.
    I just want to tell her to forget the writing part but I also know it is good for them.
    It has been one of those frustrating, doubting my homeschool choice - kind of morning. I hate those.
    Off to bang my head against the wall for awhile.....
    Thanks for letting me vent!!
    Oh My Goodness! That would be SO FRUSTRATING! Imagine me standing her with my hands on my hips, stomping my foot WITH you! If you lived close, I would have come over today for coffee so we could vent it through together. (At least that helps me) I loved your answer that a little goes a long way. I think that was excellent. You know the truth is, if you were to put 50 teachers or 50 moms in a room and ask them what they thought was PERTINENT to a child's education it would vary from person to person. These are the things that are important to your mom, but only YOU are allowed to choose what you think is important to your sons.

    Here is something I learned long ago. We all have GAPS. I mean seriously I can't tell you all the answers to her questions and I'm 41 with a degree in nursing. GAPS are not the problem. It's teaching our children to be lifetime learners. We want to light a fire and not fill a bucket. Because when you get in your 40's you forget most of what was ever in your bucket. (just sayin') However, if your child knows how to research, to set goals, to read well, to do basic math, then they can go anywhere and learn anything. Like you said, if your boys grow up and go into a field where they need to know about government they can research and memorize it at that time. You're doing a GREAT job!
    Mary, Child of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Wife to best friend and Mama to her four boys 91, 96, 00, 02, Homeschooling since 1998! Come visit us on our blog! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/

  3. #3
    Forum Moderator aandwsmom's Avatar
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    Thanks MamaMary!!
    ITA with you! And I wanted to say to her, since YOU were a middle school teacher and feel SO important about the government stuff.... how is it that you still do not fully understand measure and amendments that come up during voting time? But, that is me just being a stinker about the whole thing. Kids need the basics and need to know HOW to do it..... not gobs and gobs of it jammed down their throats and they end up learning nothing.
    This was one of those days I was very glad that she lives 6 hrs away AND we do not video chat because the look or looks on my face would not have been polite!

  4. #4
    Senior Member MamaMary's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aandwsmom View Post
    Thanks MamaMary!!

    This was one of those days I was very glad that she lives 6 hrs away AND we do not video chat because the look or looks on my face would not have been polite!
    You are so welcome! I immediately had a picture of video chat
    Mary, Child of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Wife to best friend and Mama to her four boys 91, 96, 00, 02, Homeschooling since 1998! Come visit us on our blog! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/

  5. #5
    Forum Moderator aandwsmom's Avatar
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    Yep, my MIL got a webcam so she can skype with the newest and final grandchild because they live 12 hrs apart and will very rarely see each other. She wanted us to get one too so she could talk to my boys. Ummm, NO. Not only are they not really phone kids but their faces are very expressive just like DH and mine. Plus she would want to use it daily and sorry.... not going to skype for 20-30 min. daily and try to keep my face smiling and non-expressive! YIKES!
    DH and I video taped our 1st Xmas, opening all the gifts from family 3500 miles away so we could send them the tape. Guess what, we looked SO phoney trying to be excited about a fish hook bill cap decoration or a blouse that looked like it was for an old lady instead of a 23 yr old gal that we never did send it!LOL Every time my MIL talks about us getting a webcam, that is what we both think of and go no thank you!LOL

  6. #6
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    Hi aandwsmom,
    I feel your pain. It's so hard when everyone else has an opinion about what's best for your children. It's taken me quite a while to realize what I think is best for my daughter. Since she is a special needs child, everyone has a different diagnosis for her and thinks they know best. I say the best is to learn the basics the best she can and the rest we can learn when it comes along.
    Good luck with your Mom.
    Christy

  7. #7
    Yca
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    ugh - i'm so sorry babe ... i know what a pain in the butt it can be. my very best friend is a teacher and she's been very good overall with dealing with jack. but we have days - i assure you - where its like, seriously? get over it. i am lucky that it isn't my parents that are on my case tho. in that i have been very blessed. both of my parents were teachers at one point, but they both know that every child learns at their own place. tehy ask what we're doing, i tell them, and they're always like "Oh how COOL!!"

    well ... until this morning....

    jack had to write a paper on martin luther king. the first question was "who is he" ... jack writes down "martin luther king sr's son" and goes out to play. *eyeroll*
    ~ Yca ~
    (otherwise known as Jess )

    Wife to Dave and Mom to Red - 13, The Princess - 11, Fluffyheaded Diva - 6, and Sir Smiley - 3
    Read about our adventures HERE!


  8. #8
    Super Moderator fairylover's Avatar
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    I would probably say something like, they know how to look it up if they ever need it. You are so right about not retaining anything. I have an associate degree in business, a bachelor in psychology, and a masters in guidance and counseling. Do I remember anything from any of it? No. I don't care where Viet Nam is on the map. The most I care about is where the states are that my children live in and where Guatemala is. (My son was born there.) You could always smile sweetly and say, "Please pass the bean dip." (It's from a post on mothering.com.)
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Twelve year old Dakota

  9. #9
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    Oy vey! I would be bonkers! My hubby and I have this chat all the time about what we remember from school. (and guess what it ain't much!) IMO this is all about basics and teaching them HOW to learn. HOW to find answers. If one of my kiddos likes goverment then they can dive right in and we will study until they know it or we fall asleep.........lol But if this isn't one of their interests then why teach it? Yeah I think kids should be exposed to maps and know the states and capitals, and yes I make them point out Egypt each time we read about it. But do I list the places, and quiz them on it? By no means. We just do it as it comes across in our work. Anywho I could talk all day about this............the best way I can explain it without giving a million different examples is this. Do you really think the show "So you think you're smarter than a 5th grader" would be so hard if we remembered EVERYTHING they taught us?????????
    Adria
    Mommy of 4
    Bryanna 13
    Ralphy 7
    Coleman 5
    GraceAnn 3

  10. #10
    Forum Moderator aandwsmom's Avatar
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    Thanks guys, you all made me feel a lot better!
    DH and I talked and he luckily is on my side! If the writing is crazy, then we tell her either scale it back or we are done. Might upset her, but oh well.
    And the rest of her comments, DH and I both basically feel like you said.... who remembers all that ANYWAYS! I think, since we started T4L.... both my kids have retained more and learned more than they ever did in PS. Mainly because they learn at their pace, using their strengths.
    HUGS everyone for your support! You guys rock!

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