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  1. #1
    Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Need advice - thinking of homeschooling - daughter being mistreated at school

    My daughter is currently in public school. My daughter is a very sweet-natured girl and is well-behaved in school.

    Her emotional state is deteriorating, though. In class, the kids are SO loud and she can never concentrate. Even her teacher says it is the most ill-behaved class she has ever had. But the main problem is that my daughter is being shunned and made fun of by the other classmates - especially during recess.

    I have brought this up to the school - to the teacher and now the assistant principle. They try to encourage her to talk to the girls, but the girls just either totally ignore her or they tell her to get away from them. My daughter KEEPS trying, during lunch and recess, because she wants to have at least one friend, but the kids keep refusing to be friends with her. They also call her "weirdo" for some reason.

    Last year, when she was in 3rd grade, I pulled her out of school to homeschool her for those VERY same reasons. But this year, in 4th grade, I thought I would try again. But this year is worse. And the assistant principle acts like I should NOT homeschool her since I already brought her back, and because I work from home part time. And she acts like it would be bad for my daughter if I homeschool her, like I'm giving up on success in public school.

    But the problem is, I see my daughter having emotions problems now - she has stomach aches and is acting depressed at times. I have just sent an email to the assistant principle letting her know that if things don't change, and fast, she will have to be homeschooled. Because that social environment seems WAY worse for her than being homeschooled.

    I have met with the assistant principle (who handles these things) and I have been to recess twice to try to see what's happening and help her. But it has not helped her at all.

    Any advice that anyone can give me would be appreciated. And I am trying to give the school one more chance, but I honestly don't know how they can help her anymore. And they are so anti-homeschooling and try to make me feel guilty for even thinking of that option. I mean, how can they possibly make the other kids be nice to my daughter? It seems so difficult.

    And last year, when I homeschooled her, she did very well. And I can work around my work schedule since I work from home. It will be more of a sacrifice for me, but I'm very worried about my daughter's well being - so I'm willing to do it. She deserves better.

    Thanks so much,

    Tara

  2. #2
    Super Moderator jpenn's Avatar
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    Tara, I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter's situation, but realize it is all too common these days. I believe your option to homeshool is a solid option for your daughter. Homeschooling is very "socialized" these days with local co-op groups, homeschooling organizations, homeschooling sports groups...

    Have you looked for local homeschooling groups in your area? You will find great support (most of the time) within the local groups. I would encourage to check the CO state forum to share with them your plight and see if anyone lives near you, also, it's a super way to get to know other homeschooling folks, share ideas, make friends... I am the moderator over there and would LOVE to have you join us.

    Please keep us posted on your situation.
    Joyfully,
    Jackie

  3. #3
    Super Moderator fairylover's Avatar
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    I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is going through this. My daughter pulled her son out of school for the same reason. He was being harrassed so badly that the boys were running him off the road with their bikes on his way home from school. Homeschooling has turned his life around. I say, go with your heart. That assistant principal does not know your daughter like you do. I know you will make the best decision for her. Let us know what we can do to help you.
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Eleven year old Dakota

  4. #4
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    If you are wanting to someone to tell you that homeschooling is not evil, then you are posting in the right place. Homeschooling isn't evil. ;-)

    However, why did you want to try again? Is the school fulfilling that reason? Ultimately, this is a decision that only you can make. You know your family situation, your educational goals, your reasons for home educating and for trying ps again, and most importantly your know your daughter.

    HTH-
    Mandy
    ds Doodlebug 11yo
    currently homeschooling with an eclectic mess of stuff

    homeschool graduates:
    ds Cashew 20yo
    ds Peanut 22yo

  5. #5
    Super Moderator fairylover's Avatar
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    I totally agree Mandy. If the school is not helping your daughter, than you need to make sure that her needs are met. She is your responsibility, not the school.
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Eleven year old Dakota

  6. #6
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    Default Thanks

    Yes, thanks for the advice. I'm trying to be level headed about this. I'm going to keep on top of this issue and watch it closely.

    The reason why I wanted to try public school again this year - because my daughter wanted to try it out again. But the other kids are excluding her, seriously excluding her. So I'm trying to work with the school on this issue - since they have policies in place regarding this type of thing.

    I've researched this type of "relational aggression" that is happening, and I know it can be damaging to the child. So I'll stay involved. If no change happens at the school, when they implement their policies, then I'll be likely to home school her and choose a different social outlet for her. They have "anti-bullying" policies at the school - which covers situations like this. I'm just not sure if they will work, because they haven't so far. We'll see what their next step is. I have to be her advocate in order to get these "steps" the school has in place activated.

    But of course, I am willing to step in for my daughter. First to encourage the school to follow their policy. If that does not work, then I'll educate her myself while seeking out good social outlets for her during the day - such as homeschooling groups.

    Thanks again for the advice. A new school week begins tomorrow.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator fairylover's Avatar
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    Best wishes in this journey. It could be a tough one.
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Eleven year old Dakota

  8. #8
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    Default Will check it out

    Quote Originally Posted by jpenn View Post
    Tara, I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter's situation, but realize it is all too common these days. I believe your option to homeshool is a solid option for your daughter. Homeschooling is very "socialized" these days with local co-op groups, homeschooling organizations, homeschooling sports groups...

    Have you looked for local homeschooling groups in your area? You will find great support (most of the time) within the local groups. I would encourage to check the CO state forum to share with them your plight and see if anyone lives near you, also, it's a super way to get to know other homeschooling folks, share ideas, make friends... I am the moderator over there and would LOVE to have you join us.

    Please keep us posted on your situation.
    Thanks, I'll check out the CO state forum. Yes, I would have to make sure to get her involved in those types of things - like the homeschooling groups and so forth. The homeschooling option is sounding pretty good. Last night she wanted to talk for two hours about why the kids act that way at school - I'm going to see if things will change for her and go from there

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by fairylover View Post
    I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is going through this. My daughter pulled her son out of school for the same reason. He was being harrassed so badly that the boys were running him off the road with their bikes on his way home from school. Homeschooling has turned his life around. I say, go with your heart. That assistant principal does not know your daughter like you do. I know you will make the best decision for her. Let us know what we can do to help you.
    Thanks, Kathi. I'm glad to hear that your grandson is doing better now. That is inspirational

  10. #10
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    I just replied to your post in a separate post below...getting the hang of using the forum

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