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  1. #1
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    Default Will you watch my child - AGAIN!!

    Does anyone else have a problem with people asking you to watch their children just because you're a stay-at-home-mom? As though you have nothing better to do! If you do, can you give me some advice on how to say "No" nicely. I always end up saying "Yes" just because I want to help out and feel bad saying no, but then have to readjust my schedule to accommodate them. This is my first year homeschooling because I worked full time in the past.

    Also, any tips on keeping kids busy in the hot Arizona sun?

  2. #2
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    Are these other homeschoolers? I have a friend with a child the same age as mine who also homeschools, and we trade off on mid-week sleepover days - when she has them she teaches them both French, when I have them I teach them both art. For random friends whose kids are conventionally schooled, it can just be an honest "you're home and I'm working and school's out today" thing... I took my daughter's brownie troop leader's child one day when there was a teacher workday in our County (the parent is a high school teacher), and her daughter went on a field trip to the nature center with us that day.

    Over the summer, though, I don't know anyone who would even consider trying to pass their child to me. Then again, I live in a neighborhood with mostly stay at home moms. If you are the only one nearby, then it would be helpful if you knew the schedules and locations of nearby day camps during summer break. Then you can say "No, I'm sorry I can't take little Susie, but the YMCA on Elm Street has a great summer program that runs 8 to 6 every day!"

    JC

  3. #3
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    Great advice. Thank you They are not homeschoolers and the mother works full time, so it's the dad that calls me often so he can run errands (so he says). I've wanted to tell them why don't you enroll her in a summer program, like last year, just to have back up. But I'm afraid I'll come off too a bit harsh and blunt. I like your way!!! Thanks again

  4. #4
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    Unless it's a doctor's appointment or something similar, I don't see why a parent would have to drop off his child to run errands. I wouldn't mind if someone dropped their kids off here, but all of the other mothers I know are stay at home moms, so it's not really an issue. The only time I have watched someone else's child recently was while the mother was having surgery and the father was out of the state on business. That, I can totally see as necessary drop off!
    Melissa.

  5. #5
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    It may help to politely emphasize the attention that you want to give to homeschooling. When I homeschooled one of my sons a few years back (he was in high school but had physical disabilities, and so needed my assistance), all of my sis in laws would want to call and chat 'forever'. It was a huge distraction from our homeschooling. I finally had to be strict with myself about our homeschool schedule and would refuse to answer the phone during those hours. When I returned their calls later, I would say, "Oh sorry I couldn't get to the phone right then, we were still homeschooling." They quickly realized that that was the time that they wouldn't be able to talk with me and started calling later. I was glad that I did that because it really helped with our homeschooling. You may have to do the same with ones wanting to leave their kids with you...."Oh I am sorry...I would, but I really need to give my attention to our homeschooling during this time." I can't imagine one arguing focus placed on your child's education.

    Sincerely,
    dakotamom

  6. #6
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    Thanks for the advice. I recenly watched a similar discussion on the Today Show. It felt so good to hear the advice of simply saying "No, I'm not available". I tend to have such a hard time saying this word, but I'm learning. I've also stopped answering my phone during homeschooling. It's especially annoying when it's a sales call or worse yet a recording that promps you to press "1".

  7. #7
    Junior Member Lotsoffunx4's Avatar
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    When I was layed off from my job last October and started homeschooling my children, I had a friend who would do this. She figured since I didn't have a job, I should have no problem her child. When I told her I couldn't because I was homeschooling her reply was, "but my daughter is really good!" I just told her that I understood that, but she is still a child that needs attention and that I needed to devote my attention to my children to assure that they got the best education possible. She did get upset at me at first, but she got over it.

  8. #8
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    Hi Lotsoffunx4,
    That is exactly what happened to me. I got layed off last year and then decided to homeschool my daughter. My problem with the child watching happened before I started to homeschool and I thought homeschooling would put an end to it. Since I was being asked to pick up their child from school while picking up mine. Then summer vacation came around and I was always being asked to watch their child while they ran errands or went to dr. appointments. I've gotten better at saying I can't and leaving it at that, but they seems pretty upset with ME???? You handled your situation beautifully and will have to remember what you said for the next time I'm asked
    Christy

  9. #9
    Junior Member Lotsoffunx4's Avatar
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    Christy,

    I have worked in many positions in the past where I let people run all over me. The end result was that I was working a ton of hours, missing out on time with my family, and was miserable. I have had to learn to say "no" for my families sake. All of my positions have been working with other people's children, but the amount of hours that had to be dedicated to the job was insane. I worked at a children's home for 2 years. During that 2 year period, I worked more with other people's children than I had time to spend with my own. When I made the decision to leave that position I was hired as a teacher right away. The school I taught at was a private school that made a lot of demands on the my time. I wasn't even compensated for any after school activities that they demanded I attend, yet if I didn't attend, I would no longer have a job. They layed me off in October of last year due to the economy and the fact that they couldn't afford to pay me. I was their first choice because I demanded compensation for time worked. I was really upset about that, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened. I had decided to stay home with my kids and homeschool them, but by February had a new job that I wasn't even looking for. I now work in the afternoons at a new school teaching highschool American Sign Language. I could have had a full time teaching position this year, but turned it down so that I could be home with my children. It takes time and effort, but eventually you get to a point where you know when to say no and not over work yourself! I hope your issues get worked out and you aren't stuck babysitting or having people being upset when you say no. Ultimately, your family comes first!

  10. #10
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    You are so right about family coming first. I am so fortunate to be able to stay home and be the mom I have always wanted to be. As far as saying no, I think I'm getting better at it. For some reason I always felt as though I had to explain myself and recently I've been able to just leave it at "I have plans". Thanks for the advice, it's always so welcomed
    Christy

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