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Thread: My Wake Up Call!! Please read this so it doesn't happen to you!

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    Dee
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    Exclamation My Wake Up Call!! Please read this so it doesn't happen to you!

    My 11 year old daughter asked to talk with me last night at bedtime. Like a good mom, I said, "Sure". I had NO idea of the bomb she was about to drop! She started to tell me that she's been doing some bad things that I wouldn't like. I tried to get her to tell me specifics thinking that she'd been sneaking food again or something like that. She was very reluctant to tell me but finally shared that she'd been watching very inappropriate videos on YouTube. I was in absolute shock but kept my cool.

    She was in tears saying that she didn't WANT to watch these things, her curiosity got the best of her. I have attempted to have "the talk" with her but she indicated that she was not ready so I didn't push it. I told her that her dad and I were to blame since, as her parents, we knew that the internet is a dangerous place and we should have taken measures to protect her and her brothers. We prayed together and she asked Jesus for forgiveness.

    Daddy and I are now searching for a way to filter the internet that still allows them to view the good stuff that YouTube has to offer. We think we may have found it with https://www.netnanny.com/.

    What I really want you to hear is that I am constantly asking my kids, "What are you watching??" Our computers are all in open areas of our home, none in private bedrooms etc. However, it never occurred to me that they can get online on the DSI and Kindle. They have been in the habit of disappearing into their bedroom and even hiding in a closet to play these. I assumed that they simply wanted a quiet place to play. How naive I've been!!

    The other thing I want you to take note of is that this is an 11 year old GIRL! Not a boy. Like my hubby said, "You expect this from a boy, not a girl!" Girls are NOT exempt from this stuff! I'm praising God that she felt safe enough to talk to me about it! Yet, I feel sick that we didn't do something to prevent it before this happened!
    Strouse House likes this.
    Mom of 3
    boy '98, girl '00, boy '01 (Aspie)

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    i think nanny will not work on dsi's and kindles im not perfectly sure, but will work on windows and smartphones.
    i do use a parental control on pc's (which is free) that blocks specifics like mature contents etc, when my daughter tries to go on a website that contains
    my blocked items, the screen will not open, or it will need my passcode.....its irritating her but thats what im worried about,
    kids seeing things over the net that is not appropriate.

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    Dee
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    I applaud you Skool Time!! Your daughter's safety and innocence is MUCH more important that her not being irritated.
    Mom of 3
    boy '98, girl '00, boy '01 (Aspie)

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    its based on my own experience too, i spent most of my time on the internet, and most of the time i get this pop ups with all these 'singles in ur area' with half naked photos of girls.
    tho i use pop up blockers, i still get some from time to time. so i thought id better check on my daughter's pc and see what i can do.
    gladly the pc's came with parental controls that i can modify which one i can allow. oh u never know how much trouble i have each time something blocks hannah's screen.
    shes still young to understand why im doing it, but as she grows older she'll know why. kid's are so smart these days, they can be sneaky if they want to be.
    but im smarter to put a timer on the pc too. LOL! it shuts off when its time for school, it shuts off when its time for bed.
    im at peace knowing no mature content or abusive words can display on her screen. but how long i can protect her from the computer world, i dont know.

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    Thank you for your posting. I also have a young daughter who uses the internet and like u I am always asking and occasionally look. I will be more vigilant now since reading your posting. I trust my daughter just like u and I don't think she would but we never know. Thinking back to my childhood I did things that my mom didn't know about so why do I think she be curious. Again thank you for really opening my eyes. Sometimes we need a reminder and I believe I was meant to read this today. May God continue to bless u and your family.

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    May I SECOND this post! We have had the SAME issue with our young son. I think the KEY is to NEVER simply 'trust them' with such a dangerous temptation (internet.) Even though I LOVE my children dearly and normally trust them to be truthful, etc... the internet is NOT a safe place for our children to have open freedom!! Actually, quite the opposite...there are perverts who HUNT them via 'innocent' websites! Please, be OH SO CAREFUL with the precious minds with thich you have been entrusted. ALWAYS be 'on guard!'
    Homeschooling four
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    That is the one thing i am concerned about with my son having his own computer in his room. I take solace in the fact that i built his computer and programmed it myself and set up everything for it. The only way for him to get around all the blocks i put in it would be to erase the harddrive and put in a new operating system into it.

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    Thank you for posting this very important topic and as I agree with many of the measures being utilized to protect our kids I also have seen where kids learn to avoid being truethful as a result from being frustrated with over utilizing the blocking programs. No matter what we do to protect our children they are and will be exposed to external environments that we can not control. A walk through a grocery store and they are exposed to slang and undesirable vocabulary. As a parent it is my job to teach my children self control and self accountability. What types of things are appropriate for them and what is not. We do not utilize any blocking programs or parental controls..just as we did not baby proof our home when they were infants. Teaching our children is important and sadly in the age of technology we are met with new challenges and faced with ways to cope with the inappropriate material. No matter what approach a family utilizes when making the internet available to our children, it is important to remember it is OUR job as parents to not be afraid to teach our kids, talk with them about subjects or things they might encounter, give them information on how to respectfully handle the event before it happens. Be pro-active and not re-active. (please remember this is only my opinion and is not posted to disagree with any choices a family chooses to make.)
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    I use open DNS and pay for it so I can have more control over the sites it blocks.It is good cause you can set it up on the router, so then it works on all the devices that connect to your internet.

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    Senior Member Brook Simmons's Avatar
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    I had a shocking similar expierence with my step daughter. She had visited her mother and got bored over the summer.Her mother let her do whatever she wanted. When she came back she was extremely addicted.I caught her was in shock with what I saw. When I refused her access to the computer, she was writing it. She seeked out books in the library and had a network of friends who helped her find this stuff. I kept finding shocking disgusting things. She had older men meeting her at the school.I had the police talking to her, I had school counselors talking to her. It went down hill fast and really bad. I ended up having her hospitalized and the hospital said she was a liability she was so bad they refused to keep her any longer.She did not like the rules we had to make and decided she was going to live with her mom. She became such a danger in the household we let her go for the safety of our youngest child. Not just because of her addiction but because she became violent trying to enforce her behavior. I beg everyone to please be observant and never let your child get that far and get them help immediately! They will and can become addicted to it and seek it like a drug and have the same responses and withdrawals. I miss my little girl and she hates me. She is still addicted and now has seeks adrenaline and pain. She says she has made changes and I pray and fast for her but even though I have forgiven her for what has happened I am not completely healed because I do not know if I can trust her for a visit. That is how fast is spirals out of control all this happened within a year and a half. phones and internet tv or library, letters, friends, magazines, a walk through the mall to look at people or hope to get with them, all kinds of things she would do for her addiction. Pay the money if you can not watch your kids at the computer for a good safe browser system.

    for younger kids I would recommend Kidzui and its free.
    I use google chrome even now because I can go to its history and gives a time and link to access sites and every page so I can check to see if she figured out how to access it and if she does I will know what it was she accessed.
    Keep in mind you can not undo what ever it is your child has seen.

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