Praying for Wisdom...6th grade daughter refusing to home school next year...
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  1. #1
    Jamelle is offline Junior Member
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    Mar 2010

    Default Praying for Wisdom...6th grade daughter refusing to home school next year...

    Mom of 3 beautiful daughters...
    Currently, home schooling our middle daughter (2nd grade) and are praying about bringing our (now) 6th grader home next year. Being the 'social' butterfly that she is--she is completely flipping out over this. She has an attitude that only seems to get worse during the academic school year. By the end of the summer-we FINALLY start to have a little peace in the house and we are all enjoying being together and as soon as school starts back-the attitude returns and total chaos and turmoil start up. We enrolled her into a Christian school in 3rd grade (home schooled her prior to that) and now she insists on staying in school with her friends. We are planning on home schooling our 4 year old when the time comes...but don't know what to do about our oldest.
    Has anyone else had this problem?!? I just don't know if 'forcing' her to come home would be a mistake. Our main reasons are: 1. She is not retaining anything in school. She is cramming info. in at the last minute before a test and it's just short term memorization. She is half-heartily doing her work b/c she's more into the social part of school and has lots of friends. 2. She just turned 11 and already wants to stay on the phone all evening. Most of our evening is struggling with her to do home work and constantly telling her friends that she can't talk b/c they call the house CONSTANTLY. And 3...I'm just tired of all the seems that I can just walk into a room or simply say 'Hello' somedays and she huffs, blows and/or rolls her eyes like she loathes me. She has the attitude of a teenager already and is built (seriously) like a probably 14 year old and it scares me a little.
    I just want to get my daughter back. I want to get our family back and I don't want to wait until she's any older and look back and say...'If only we would've...'
    Anyway, I apologize for going on and on...but really could use some feedback on this. Have any of you faced this issue and did your child eventually except the change?

    Oh, and maybe I should say that I DO believe that WE are the parents and I'm not trying to let her make this decision. We just have some family members and friends that are not being supportive and are really taking her side. Her daddy (now) is starting to question if we should go against her wishes.

    Again, thank you for any advice in advance.

  2. #2
    DebJeff's Avatar
    DebJeff is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Oct 2010


    I remember when I was a teenager once *grins*

    While I was a Miss Goody Two Shoes & had (still have) a great relationship with my parents, I was pretty angry at my Mom. I went to both public & private schools. After attending private school for four years straight, I was three years academically ahead of sophomore when I attended my first public school (high school). I insisted on staying on with my new "friends" at a public high school when my parents gave me the choice of public school or all girl catholic school (private co-ed school hadn't existed yet).

    I constantly felt like a middle of tug-o-war. I couldn't believe the kids' attitudes and disrespect for people in general. I had a reputation of being a gorgeous, nice virgin girl who is really "square". Periodically, I was a victim of each new bullies. Luckily I was smart not to feel intimidated & chose to rat them out to teachers. Still, each new bullies was determined to intimidate me. As I mentioned before, academecally-wise, I knew more than enough to the point where I didn't do any homework for three years and passed with flying colors.

    So why was I mad at my Mom? In my teenager mind-frame, my Mom should know better than to leave me in a major confusing world of public schools. A place where no kids seemed to give a darn about anything other than drinking, bullyness, sexual activities, drugs & fast cars.

    Many years later, I told Mom that I blamed her for not "forcing" me to attend a all girl private school. She was surprised and reminded me that I insisted on staying with my buddies and public high school.

    My reply? "Duh, Mom! I was a TEENAGER, not a reasonable minded adult!"

    When it comes to my two daughters, especially in this day and age, they're never going to public schools. NEVER EVER!
    Parents of Brianna (8) & Annika (6)
    Spfld, IL

  3. #3
    Lena's Avatar
    Lena is offline Member
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    Aug 2010


    You wrote "I just want to get my daughter back. I want to get our family back"

    In my opinion, that is the strongest reason for homeschooling in your whole message. IF this is the bottom line, and you are the parent, I feel like the decision is clear. however, enforcing it, and working through your daughter's resistance to the idea will take some time and patience....a lot of both, probably.

    Just my .02. take it for what you paid for it. ;-)

  4. #4
    BostonDad is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Oct 2010


    The only thing you have to worry about is her retaliation if you bring her home. If she enjoys the social aspect of school than she will most likely be devastated to come home. If you believe she must be home schooled than maybe suggest that she joins a club or a sports team. The thing you need to remember is she is only 11. Kids at that age start to get an attitude they want to spend time with their friends and have a social life and thats completely normal. Her attitude isn't necessarily coming from going to public school its just the age. If it were me I wouldn't not take her out of school but maybe tell her is she does not put more effort into her school work than she will be home schooled.

  5. #5
    MamaMary's Avatar
    MamaMary is offline Senior Member
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    Jul 2007
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    Dear Jamelle,

    I am praying for you as you seek the Lord. His ways are not our ways. His ways are right, true and perfect.

    It's such a difficult thing to help someone else make a decision like this because there is no one who knows your sweet daughter like you do. Whereas the gentleman above said if it were him he wouldn't take her out of school, "I" would do the opposite.

    However, we are basing this on whats best for our children, our homes. No matter what you choose I do encourage you not to look at the attitude of today, but to imagine what it will look like 5 or 10 years from now as you consider both options before you.

    How do you see keeping her home & homeschooling benefiting her in 5 years? How do you see keeping her in public school benefiting her?

    Also, if this is mostly socialization I would check out your local and state support groups and see what they have available. I tend to have TOO MANY socialization opportunities where we live.

    On a closing note, I graduated my first little homeschooler last year after 12 years and I wouldn't trade a thing. It was the biggest blessing of my life. He is thriving in our local community college and is one of the most outgoing, socially strong young men I know. Not because of homeschooling or me or his dad, but because that is who God made him to be. We just helped him walk strongly in the Lord as he discovered who God made him to be.
    Mary, Child of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Wife to best friend and Mama to her four boys 91, 96, 00, 02, Homeschooling since 1998! Come visit us on our blog!

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