6th grader refuses to do work
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  1. #1
    kim.spencer is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015

    Default 6th grader refuses to do work

    My husband and I are at our wits end. Our 11 year old refused to go to class, fighting us tooth and nail. We tried everything for over a year, including working with teachers and administration, counselors, doctors, etc. All of who have not been entirely helpful or understanding.

    Finally, we decided to try homeschooling thinking that maybe the structure of public school was just not for him. He did alright for about a week and has gone completely downhill since. We noticed his quiz scores went from 80% to an average of 30%. We worked with him to understand the concepts and had him redo them. It seems like he understands things, but he just will not take the time to properly go through a lesson or do a quiz. I came to check in on him this morning and found him skipping through pages just to get through the lesson faster. I told him he had to go back and redo it and he had a complete meltdown, hunkering himself away in his room, throwing stuff at us when we came near. Now he has refused to do any school work today.

    I am beyond frustrated and frightened for his future. He just does not care about school. I don't know who to reach out to, where to find help or how to help him understand how important school is. I have exhausted everything I know. We have talked till we are blue in the face, guided, punished, been mean, been nice, worked hard to find a solution or at least a better path.

    Anyone experience this or know someone who has? Any experienced homeschoolers think homeschooling is a good or not so good environment for a child who can do schoolwork but constantly refuses and resorts to emotional outbursts?

  2. #2
    hearthstone_academy's Avatar
    hearthstone_academy is offline Administrator
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Hi, Kim. I'm sorry you're having this difficulty. Is he this way about anything he doesn't want to do, or just school?

    Because of the throwing things (which is pretty extreme), without knowing him at all, I might suspect autism or some other disorder. I think in that direction because I have a child with autism. Good professional help is another things I was going to suggest, but it sounds like you've been to counselors and doctors.

    Hopefully someone smarter than I will come along with some additional advice!

    Mom of six . . . current students and homeschool graduates. Enjoying using Time4Learning since 2006!

  3. #3
    Palamon is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2015


    I'd suggest you look in to a book call the Explosive Child by Ross Greene. He also has a website with a ton of helpful videos and articles. Lives in the Balance and Dr. Greene's approach

    From what you've written I think his approach might really help you.


  4. #4
    saecularis is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2015


    I found Dr. Greene's book useful during my son's behavior months. Then we found out his sudden behaviors were his only form communication at the time. Do check out How Children Learn, by John Holt.
    Consider checking out '2e' children, which is also known as 'twice-exceptional'. Learning disability on top of giftedness. See if your son has any over-excitabilities. This could be helpful.
    I've been unschooling my, now, 7 year-old. He's back to being calm, never throws tantrums because he's leading the way right now.

    I'm homeschooling my 10 year-old daughter with TFL this year for a different reason. She's doing well. I am trying to use it as a guide for my son, but I haven't figured out how to make this work just yet.

    Good luck

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