[WARNING: WORD DUMP] I am a teenager in need of help, gosh.
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Thread: [WARNING: WORD DUMP] I am a teenager in need of help, gosh.

  1. #1
    epic is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Sep 2014

    Default [WARNING: WORD DUMP] I am a teenager in need of help, gosh.

    Hello, all! I am "epic".

    I'd like to discuss a high school problem I am having.

    Like I previously stated, I am on the other end of the spectrum, for I am a student and would like some help from my peers. Considering I have nowhere to go, I suppose I will dump all of this information that I have kept to myself onto your poor, poor souls.

    I am a teenage boy with issues. I have hallucinations and I am better off alone. I recently moved to Hawaii, for my father was offered the once-in-ten-lifetimes opportunity to buy a store out here, which I will name undisclosed for reasons. Anyway, being the wolf he was after he fell off of a building (he was a carpenter, not a suicidal maniac, you goons!), he decided to go for it. Also, being the devilish man he is, he was rewarded with it. This meant that he was moving our family to Hawaii from a small town in the Northeastern part of the United States of America. Now, this wasn't much of an emotional transition for me because I talked to my family over this lovely computer application called "Skype" quite often. Also, with what friends I had (like two) it was also rather easy for me to let go. I saw them earlier this year when I went to visit them, actually. Anyway, I moved to Hawaii and my first year of Hawaiian high school was rather. . . unorthodox. Like I previously stated, I had little to no friends, which meant that it would be hard making any this first year around. Turns out, at the end of that year, I had a grand total of . . . was it . . . no. I had a grand total of zilch. Nada! Zero! To bide my time instead of befriending people, I'd often read a book from the local library (which I went through like bullets through plaster) in about two days. In other words, my nose was buried in a book the majority of the time I was at school. This meant during passing periods, lunch, free periods and even classes I'd read. I didn't read because I had no friends, I read because I didn't want any. You see, (and if I am offending you in this next part, please just click that big red "X" button in your top right) MOST TEENAGERS ARE DOWNRIGHT STUPID. They do drugs, curse, fart, slap each other, wear flat bill hats, and have weird "OBEY" shirts. What am I supposed to obey? Anyway, in case I had not made it obvious enough, I don't like anyone from this distasteful generation I was ever so luckily birthed into. Or so I thought. At the end of the year, I walked out with a happy "go kill yourselves" face, knowing I would never return to that school. Over the summer break, I visited my family and what little friends I had. When I came back, I desperately overheard of an option of something called a "charter school". A charter school is basically just not a traditional school, with its periods and stuff. Things. ANYWHO, I transferred to a science-based charter school. Which is where I am at now, and where my issue resides.

    You see, a series of very, very fortunate events unfurled for me. I happened to run into someone I actually liked! For reasons, let's call her . . . Daisy. Daisy is an intellectual whom I quite enjoyed spending time with. As a matter of fact, she introduced me to a group of other people, other people who I am now proud to call my friends. For a good month, I spent my time enjoying their company, sharing a few unethical laughs and whatnot. Then I struck gold, metaphorically speaking. You see, I happened to be rather fond of Daisy. I decided to confront her one day over text because I'm such a wuss that doing it outside of the cyber world would be fairly disdainful to me. Well, she responded with something like "That's cute! I like you too!". After so, we started dating. Plot twist! EVERY ONE OF MY FRIENDS LIKES OR LIKED HER. They've all known her longer than I. You know what that means? I'm thrown under the bus. Well, luckily they have all been very accepting towards me for dating Daisy. Except for one person. I know he has depression. As a matter of fact, I've had a minor taste of the copper taste that resides in his bottom lip, from both jealousy and sadness. I guess the only thing that saves me from being disliked by him is because I believe I've tried helping him out of his hole. He's not exactly the problem, though. The main problem is that I really, really like this girl. As a matter of fact, I'm now alright with saying I love her. I love Daisy! Everyone has gotten over us going out by now. Even the boy is fine with it. Since then, we've been rapidly progressing though stages left for adults. Keep in mind Daisy is a straight-A student, going to a Psychology Convention in Florida, taken a part in Robotics, Science Olympiad and whatnot. (I'm your normal B+ student who happens to participate in Robotics, Science Olympiad and Psychology as well, and not for the wrong reasons, either.) In other words, she and I are both dorky teenagers that have been progressing through the stages of love. From holding hands to hugging to kissing on the cheek to kissing on the lips to french kissing and to touching each other . . . I don't want this! I want to slow it down! Plus, if my friends find out we've gone this far, well . . .

    Come on, parents, I really need your help here. How did you get your significant other to stop progressing as quickly as they were when you were dating? That is, if you weren't in an arranged marriage ()

    I could use some help.

    tl:dr: i like girl. girl like me. we're going too fast. how to slow down?

    Thank you for letting me dump this garbage on you. I need help.


  2. #2
    Ruth_Lanton's Avatar
    Ruth_Lanton is offline Member
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    Mar 2014


    I think you should talk to her. Let her know that you like her but you're uncomfortable with how fast things are going. Frankly, when I was a teenager I didn't mind "moving too fast"- it felt good in the short term. It was only much later that I felt "used" for having moved so fast with something I didn't have THAT deep of an emotional connection to. Most of the relationships didn't last- physical contact was just about the only thing we had in common. Then, when we broke up, I felt kind of bad about myself. That pattern happened a few times with a lot of different guys.

    Communication is key. Talk to her about your concerns. They very LAST thing you need right now is for her to get pregnant! And let me tell you- NO method of contraception works 100%. If you're not ready to deal with a pregnancy, you shouldn't be having sex. Period.

    And beyond the pregnancy aspect, there's the emotional aspect. You don't want to open yourself up physically/emotionally before it's time, because then it just kind of messes up the relationship. Express to her that you care about her too much to take that risk- you want things to be good between you, and if you ever do have sex, you want it to be "right." Most importantly, you want the relationship you're having with her *right now* to be "perfect" (as much as possible- nothing is ever completely perfect) and free from worries about moving too fast and feeling overwhelmed. You can't enjoy the "here and now" if you feel like you're in over your head.

    She might feel the same way and be relieved if you bring it up. Or she might be enjoying the physical aspect and be disappointed that you want to slow things down- but she should still respect your limits if she really cares about you.
    bailbrae and MamaToHerRoo like this.
    Ruth, single mom to Jack, 13, Hannah, 19, and Leah, 20.

  3. #3
    katshu2's Avatar
    katshu2 is offline Administrator
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    Mar 2007
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    Not that I think your post is inappropriate AT ALL, but I don't think this is the right forum to help you. This one is specifically for high schoolers using the T4L program. Honestly, you may have better response from posing your questions over on the Let's Homeschool High School forums. There are both parent AND student forums at LHSHS, so you can get help/advice from parents, but also you may be able to connect with other high schoolers who are going through these types of situations as well.

    Good luck!
    MamaToHerRoo likes this.
    Coffee drinker, gadget addict, proud geek.
    Accidentally homeschooling since 2005!

  4. #4
    MamaToHerRoo's Avatar
    MamaToHerRoo is offline Senior Member
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    Jun 2009


    I have to agree with advice from both moms above. Let me add one other thing. Sometimes moving too fast is just a symptom of that thing we all suffer from, wanting to be accepted, but it is also like the genie in the bottle, once released there is no putting that genie back in its bottle. So talk to her and ask that she respect your feelings, and reassure her that it is out of respect for both of you, and not because you don't like her. I hope things work out well for you both.
    bailbrae likes this.
    Homeschooling one for 8 years and counting!

  5. #5
    Carriekaye is offline Junior Member
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    Sep 2014

    Default A little bit of practical advice...

    You've already gotten some decent advice. Now, I'm going to give you some practical advice. It can be hard to not go farther in a relationship than you are really ready for. You feel both pressure from the other party as well as pressure from your own hormones. One thing that might really help you is to avoid being alone. Go out together to public places. When you stay in, hang out around friends or family members. Don't go into a bedroom alone together to play video games or anything else. If you avoid being alone together like this, then you don't have to worry about doing more than you are ready for, the situation just won't allow for it.

    I remember being in love at that age, and trust me, I know how difficult it is to be in that situation. This little bit of advice can really help you keep things within the bounds that you are comfortable with. Best of luck to you.
    bailbrae and MamaToHerRoo like this.

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