daughter keeping the room door closed

[Anura]

I have a daughter who keeps her door closed pretty much all the time when she is at home. Is there anything I can do to have a non confrontational discussion with her to change her behavior?

[lauraarmstrong]

Hi Anura! I have three kids - 29, 27 and 15. They all preferred to have their door closed during adolescence, as did I when I was a teen. My youngest was keeping his door closed almost constantly earlier this year, and I asked him to leave it open some of the time. Now he does. All my kids are boys, and I've heard from my friends that daughters are a whole different ballgame... ha ha! Moodier, more difficult communication, etc... so I don't know if my method will work for you. My boys were and are very easy to talk to and although I'm sure the youngest would prefer to have his door closed all the time (as did I as a teen) he now keeps it open sometimes just to make us happy.

[krystal36]

Hi Anura, I have a 16 year old daughter that I DO NOT allow to close her door, unless she's changing clothes. I have told them from the beginning that as long as they are in our home, there is no privacy in here. There have been times when her friends have came over and would close the door, I nicely tell them that we don't close doors here. It may sound mean, but that's just my rules. I say, just talk to her and tell her that you would feel a little more comfortable if she wouldn't close the door, BUT if this was never addressed in your household before, there may be a confrontation. I don't do confrontations here... It's MY house, I pay the bills, so it's MY rules... what I say goes... when she start paying bills around here, we MIGHT considered closed doors. Very good luck!