The "S" word
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Thread: The "S" word

  1. #1
    lisas's Avatar
    lisas is offline Member
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    Jun 2008

    Default The "S" word

    This might belong in a different thread -- if so, please feel free to move it.

    So, how do you all deal with the "Socialization" stereotype you get from people when you mention that you are homeschooling? I have run into this now, more than once, and have felt that people are very rude to mention this -- especially IN FRONT OF my kids.

    Just Sunday, we had a pastor from another church give a talk about our synod's high school, which is a boarding school across the state. Okay, no way no how will I ever send my kids to a boarding school. However, this pastor zeroed in on me and my kids as they are 5th graders and prime candidates for this school. I tried to put the nix on it by mentioning that they are homeschooled right off the bat -- to which I got the whole socialization spiel right away. I was rather offended. He implied that of course my children would be suffering from under-socialization because they are homeschooled.

    I just let him talk and then excused myself and seethed the whole way home.

    We do live in a rural area. We do homeschool. We are probably the classic layman's stereotype -- we have livestock, chickens, garden and all that stuff. However my girls take dance four days a week at two different studios, catechism classes at our church, music classes at the church and piano with a group of other kids. They play with other local kids several days a week. Most likely we will also be involved in 4H this year and other group activities with local kids. They dance with a performing competition dance team with other girls. One daughter has been asked to run track for the local middle school as she is somewhat of a track star around here. The other has been asked to play volleyball. They also spend 3 weeks away from home every summer at a performing arts workshop.

    My kids went to school through 4th grade -- both public school and lastly parochial school. They were cranky, over-worked, stressed and tired all the time! There was always some kind of "girl drama" going on at school that would sap their energy. Now I see them enjoying their work, interested in what they are learning, and HAPPY to see their friends at the other activities instead of engaging in drama with them. Isn't this the way socialization should be? Or does it take the other, unhappy stuff I mentioned above to be truly socialized?

    For what it is worth, I am grateful for this forum and other T4L parents to vent to!
    Second year homeschooling 6th grade twins!
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  2. #2
    chasiety is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Sep 2008


    Hi here,

    I am glad that you wrote about this. I feel the same frustration and pressure form family members that believe that homeschooling is a prison sentence for the children. I have three boys that take classes at church, play basketball, soccer, and thinking about baseball, music lessons, and so on. I cringe at some family dinners because it is only a matter of time before the subject is brought up.
    I am also made to feel bad because I am not "working" and help paying the bills. It is a sad state when being an Mom, Homemaker, Teacher, and CEO of a household is not working. I wish I could make them understand this is the best choice for our kids. Our oldest son has some learning difficulties and our middle son has ADHD, and we feel we are doing the best for them.


  3. #3
    Yca's Avatar
    Yca is offline Senior Member
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    Sep 2008
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    hey lisa .... i'm going to try and find an article for you that one of my homeschooling friends posted a couple of months back ... if i forget, remind me in a couple of days.

    in the meantime ... there is no law that says you have to "socialize" your children. you have to feed them, clothe them, house them, and educate them. we have become a society obsessed with making our children have these perfect little mini-adult lives that just aren't appropriate. our focus should be on involving our children in the things that make them happy and giving them a little self-discovery, surrounding them with positive influences that you feel are best suited to your child.

    it sounds to me like you are doing very well with your children. you have two choices: you can either ignore this guy and realize that he's one of "those people" that is just never ever going to realize the full and total responsibility of parenting in this lifestyle .... or you can make the attempt to give him a little schooling of his own. as long as we live in america, people are always going to have - and express - opinions about what to do with other people's children and every other part of their life. its the price we pay for being able to vote.

    on a more personal note, i know exactly how you feel. my ex-husband is fighting us tooth and nail over homeschooling our daughter. he gives the same reason - socialization. she's in girl scouts, play groups, church 2x a week, and has freinds in the neighborhood. no, she's not social at all!!

    my prayers are with you!
    ~ Yca ~
    (otherwise known as Jess )

    Wife to Dave and Mom to Red - 13, The Princess - 11, Fluffyheaded Diva - 6, and Sir Smiley - 3
    Read about our adventures HERE!

  4. #4
    SahmIam is offline Senior Member
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    Sep 2008
    Western WA


    If you have a shy "only child" going to a public school and not participating in after school activities, I don't imagine that child would be a lot better off socially than children who are homeschooled and engage in activities with their siblings and other children. That's just my 2 cents, but it makes sense to me. Childhood is what you make of it, for better or worse. There are a lot of multiples to consider. For example, chances are pretty good that your children aren't going to be bullied or have a major act of violence committed against them. I can see the benefits and downfalls to each type of education. It was rude of that man to confront you like that in the presence of the children, so at least you were a good role model by not spouting off to him.

  5. #5
    kjudim is offline Junior Member
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    Feb 2008


    I have homeschooled for 6 years. My standard answer for anyone who asks about socialization is, "Socialization and social issues are the whole reason my kids are homeschooled." Who wants their kids exposed to all that stuff they get at school these days? That is the #1 reason we hs our kids and I am happy to share that with anyone nosy enough to ask.

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