School-Related Discipline
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  1. #1
    AngieLaspee is offline Junior Member
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    Angry School-Related Discipline

    Today was the start of my daughter's second week of Kindergarten, and the novelty of "school" has worn off already. She decided this morning that she didn't want to do any schoolwork, and no matter how hard I tried to persuade her, she refused to cooperate. When I finally talked her into trying some work, she intentionally got all the answers wrong, even though it was subject matter that she's done before and knows well. I just wanted to do some review because I knew she wasn't in any mood to start on anything new.
    My daughter knows that the usual punishment in our house for refusing to do what you're told is getting "grounded" to your room for a while, so she was attempting to get grounded so she would be in her room and not have to do schoolwork. It's obvious to me now that "grounding" her to her room will not work, and if I give in and let her stop every time she decides she doesn't want to do anything, she'll never learn anything.
    Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this problem?

  2. #2
    Liz E is offline Member
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    My daughter can be like that too. I can't say it is always affective, but I don't hesitate to remind my kids that they could be in regular school with other kids there age couped up all day. Since my kids don't want to go to regular school, this seems to work - most of the time.

    Part of me feels horrible about sort of threatening regular school, but part of me has no problem since homeschooling is such a privilege. I often tell them that I wished I was homeschooled.

  3. #3
    Mandy in TN is offline Senior Member
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    Without knowing the child and not having been there, it is difficult to decide which advice to give.

    1. She just started kindergarten, so perhaps she isn't ready. Pull back and start again in a couple of months.

    OR

    2. She was having a bad day. Don't dwell on it too much. Try again tomorrow.

    EITHER WAY-

    3. Only spend as much time on inappropriate behavior as is absolutely necessary. By allowing the inappropriate behavior to determine how the child will be treated, you are reinforcing those actions. The bad behavior is what is getting attention, so the child repeats the behavior to get more attention. Instead of providing attention for bad behavior, offer attention for the desired behavior. If you finish X, Y, Z in an appropriate period of time and in an appropriate fashion, you can watch this 30 minute show after lunch. Obviously, the natural consequence of having to continue after lunch is that you miss the show.

    HTH-
    Mandy
    ds Doodlebug 11yo
    currently homeschooling with an eclectic mess of stuff

    homeschool graduates:
    ds Cashew 20yo
    ds Peanut 22yo

  4. #4
    fairylover's Avatar
    fairylover is offline Senior Member
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    Oh Liz, I am so glad to know that I am not the only one who uses school as a means of getting our work done. It worked quite well for a while. But now my nine year old tells me to send him to school. He says, "I'll just get myself expelled then you'll have to homeschool me." Too smart that boy is. (Smart mouthed too.)

    Angie, I would agree with Mandy in just backing off for a while. I think there is too much of a push to learn at a younger and younger age. They are not always ready for this. Try to do things that are more fun for a while. Teach counting skills by cooking. How many cups have we put in the jello? How many more cups do we need to add? It will soon be warm enough to begin gardening. Let her learn aboutt the life cycle of plants or something like that. Then in a couple of months try more formal learning again to see if she is ready yet. And always always always read to her. The best way to teach a child to read is to read to them.

    You might want to stop by the Mississippi Parent Forum and check things out over there. You might meet others in your area.
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Twelve year old Dakota

  5. #5
    Olive is offline Member
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    I'm just glad to know I'm not alone. Though I don't wish this burden on any parent. My son is doing Kindergarten T4L right now but he's actually still 4yrs old. My son says he's not interested in going to school so I have also made comments like, "would you like to go to 'regular' school and be there ALL day?" lol I don't think he completely understands but he knows going away and having to do work all day doesn't sound fun!! This does not always help interest him in the task at hand but I just tell him he can't play games or watch TV until after he does some work and after a while of sulking I guess he realizes he wants to earn the right to do one of those fun things.

    My son wants to snack in front of the computer (like as soon as it's time to do work he decides he's hungry... ) so sometimes I bribe him with food lol. "You can drink a Yoo-Hoo WHILE you do your lessons." That went over pretty well the other day.

    Let me know if you have figured out any other ideas. Some days I just go over things from the PreK section and/or use other materials. I know you live in Miss., too. Wish we lived closer. If you have a Tuesday Morning store near you, I found a game called Word Roll we try to play sometimes (he doesn't know how to spell or read yet but it helps kids spell small words and you can ask them about the sounds, point out the vowels). Good luck

    Edit: I just realized this topic was from about a year ago! Well I hope things have improved.
    Last edited by Olive; 02-27-2013 at 03:53 AM.

  6. #6
    fairylover's Avatar
    fairylover is offline Senior Member
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    Hi Olive. One thing that I have found helpful is to break the "school" time up. We will work on one or two lessons and then do something else. Run around the house, check the mail,get a snack. Things like that. Then we will do a few more lessons and then do something else. Sometimes I will throw in an educational video for a few minutes. It is important to remember that they have very short attention spans at that age. Keep the lessons short and he will be able to focus more.
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Twelve year old Dakota

  7. #7
    Olive is offline Member
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    My problem is it's so hard to get him seated to do the work that when I let him break to do something else it's a new battle to get him back to the T4L screen (plus I think we have to log out or else it might mess up our records. Are those even important? My state doesn't appear to ask about daily number of hours so it might be irrelevant).

    We aim for about 1hr a day. Sometimes I will pause after Language Arts, tell him he can play games for a little bit but then we have to go back on to tackle Math. He's very eager to play the games but then upset when I try to get him back to T4L. Maybe I should space them out more (like instead of a break for an online game, we could agree to play outside so we get a break from the computer and then switch subjects upon returning or wait a while longer).

  8. #8
    fairylover's Avatar
    fairylover is offline Senior Member
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    I definitely recommend doing something physical like playing outside or running around the house. Somethig that he has to get up and do and not just change what he sits in front of the computer for.
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Twelve year old Dakota

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