Wanting to homeschool my youngest in the fall....hubby is NOT wanting to though...
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  1. #1
    Jeanabob is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Jun 2013

    Default Wanting to homeschool my youngest in the fall....hubby is NOT wanting to though...

    Hello, I am a mother of 3 boys, ages 14, 11, & 6. My oldest son has autism and does very well in school. My middle son went through a bully phase and asked me to homeschool him a couple years ago. I never even thought about homeschooling before, and did not feel I was competent enough to teach him at home. This changed this past year though. My youngest son entered kindergarten, after 2 years of preschool. He basically has the attention span of a gnat, and is very compulsive with his actions. He is a very bright, colorful little boy, but he wears out the best of them! He was always in trouble at school for disrupting and such, and being so distracted was affecting his learning, as well as his classmates when the teacher had to constantly be working with him. I decided maybe one on one (homeschooling) would be the answer.
    I had mentioned it to my husband, but until I actually was persistant and started gathering information, I don't think he though I was actually serious. Well, he kept saying he thought it was a mistake, or not a good idea, but then left it go. I got information in the mail the other day about homeschooling. He got very upset and said he would fight me on this no matter what. He is dead set against it. I'm not sure all the reasons, but I suspect part of it is there would be no break, as our son would be with us all the time. We try to take advantage of school time for ourselves, to run errands to just spend a little time together.
    I'm really hoping to learn all I can about homeschooling and be able to not only convince myself it is the right answer, but also convince my hubby this is a good idea. Our son says he wants to homeschool. He really doen't know what that means, but he told me his dad had asked him.
    If anyone has any advice, that would be great. I'm trying to get my mind "deprogrammed". I had it in my head it would be school at home,, but it seems the idea of homeschooling is so much more and I love reading about it. Thanks so much, I hope to make some friends on here!

  2. #2
    katshu2's Avatar
    katshu2 is offline Administrator
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    Mar 2007
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    Hi Bonnie, and welcome! You wouldn't be the first family that had one parent FOR homeschooling and one parent AGAINST it...I wish it were easier, but maybe you could try to ease into over the summer. Try to plan some scheduled "school" time each day and see how that goes. Maybe your husband could see that it's something that really can work. As far as the time together goes...what do you guys during summer break? How do you squeeze in extra together time? Could whatever you do during the summer carry over into the school year? If not, maybe you could look into finding a local homeschool group near you. Many homeschooling parents run into the same concerns, about never having any time to themselves. If you met with other homeschooling families, and became comfortable with one/some of them, maybe you guys could work out a system where you guys can trade babysitting.

    Here is a Welcome to Homeschooling guide that you might find useful. It might also be something to read with your hubby, so you can guys talk about each facet of homeschooling and work out the pros and cons. Also, please join our Kansas homeschool forum that we have here. It can be a good way to start looking for those homeschool groups!
    Coffee drinker, gadget addict, proud geek.
    Accidentally homeschooling since 2005!

  3. #3
    fairylover's Avatar
    fairylover is offline Senior Member
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    Mar 2009
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    Jeanabob, Welcome to the forum. I just had to chime in on this post. I thought I was the only person who said my said had the attention span of a gnat. I have never heard anyone else say that before. But for my son it is so true. The thing that makes it work for us is that I can break the work up into very small segments. The lessons don't take that long to do. So we do one or two lessons. Then he will go check the mail. We do a couple more lessons and it's time for a snack. After two or three more lessons I let him go run around the house if the weather is okay. Each time he does a short spurt of something physical then he is able to come back and focus for a few more minutes. I hope everything works out for you. Like Katie said trade babysitting with another mom and everyone benefits.
    Kathi Homeschooling Mama to Twelve year old Dakota

  4. #4
    lovehmschlg's Avatar
    lovehmschlg is offline Forum Moderator
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    Nov 2012


    Hi, Bonnie. I wanted to add something to what the other ladies said.

    I'm sorry that you and your husband are on a different page with your kids' education. The same may have happened with us, except that we had good friends who homeschooled and we got to see first-hand the effects of homeschooling. Sometimes the fear of something we don't know about makes us fight it and go against it. If I were in your shoes, I would ask my husband if he would just consider trying it out for a year. It doesn't have to be permanent. Maybe the more he feels you're moving toward homeschooling, the more he wants to fight you on it. Maybe he feels he would lose a part of you, like you mentioned, and he's feeling like you aren't listening to his desires/opinion. Obviously you are, but you see homeschooling is a benefit for your sons. Let him know you value your time together, but you also value what is best for his sons. And there's nothing better than the boys having more time with and learning from their own dad. Homeschooling is so much more than just books. He'd have more time to do boy stuff with them. Also, using T4L will allow the kids to work independently and at their own pace and your own schedule.

    Like one of the other ladies suggested, try Time4Learning over the summer. A tip I want to share with you is to have your younger son use headphones to avoid distractions. My daughter can work longer with her headphones on. And she loves the animated and interactive lessons. I can easily see how she's done on her lessons by looking at her progress report.
    I think your biggest challenge may just be being intentional about making time for your husband. He may soften up if he sees your effort in planning little dates with him like once a week (even if it's just coffee at the local Dunkin Donuts). I've often heard people say that homeschooling brings peace to their home because you don't need to rush in the mornings to get the kids to school and then rush in the afternoons to get homework done and then get the kids fed, bathed and to bed on time. Homeschooling brings the family closer together (family bonding).

    I hope your husband softens up enough to give homeschooling a chance.
    enjoying homeschooling and learning with my kids, using T4L and T4W
    blogging our homeschool experiences at The Learning Hourglass

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