Hello From Cary
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Thread: Hello From Cary

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2013

    Default Hello From Cary

    Hello from Cary! I am just getting everything together to begin homeschooling my son. He was held back at the local school and repeated the 7th grade last year. He was given an IEP and...
    There is nothing more heartbreaking and disgusting than going through the lengthy process of obtaining an IEP only to find that your child's teachers were never informed of it and that it had not been implemented at all. Now, before anyone jumps all over me and asks how I could not have known, let me give you some back story. My son is 14 and on the autism spectrum. I was at the school almost daily until I was injured at work and left in a wheelchair. I stayed in touch with his "learning team coordinator" via email and was assured that things were progressing as the IEP had directed. Only when I received a phone call from his social studies teacher did I find out what really was going on. I asked this teacher if they had used the interventions outlined in his IEP to which he replied "Thomas has an IEP??? When did that happen?" This was near the end of the school year, the second time he was in the 7th grade.
    My son thought that things were going just fine because the teachers were "leaving him alone". He believed that if they were constantly working with him that he was in trouble but now that they were ignoring him he must be doing better. I was more than heartsick.
    So, here we are. Starting the 8th grade together.
    I never felt, nor do I now feel, qualified to teach my children on a scholastic level. I have a degree but not in education. I'm honestly terrified. I'm more terrified to do nothing. I cannot and will not put him back in that school and have lost faith that any school in the system will give my son the help he needs. He will be pushed through the system and end up with a diploma that means nothing. He is a big boy. Tall and broad. Highschool will want him to play ball and will pass him just so he can play. I don't want that for him. We start this experience together.
    He is rather excited because he can stay home with me and we have been talking about all the different places he wants to go to learn. He's so excited about spending time in museums and really learning about things. He hates that when he has had questions in the past about something that interests him, teachers have told him to look in to it on his own time because they need to move on. My son want's to learn but the system has failed.
    Here we are in Cary. Hoping to meet others who homeschool as well. I am going to need all the ideas and support I can get!

  2. #2
    Nicole McGhee is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012


    Oh Sharon. I'm so sorry for you and your son and what you've been going through. I'm giving you a big hug through the computer!

    Ok, so here it is. I've never removed a child from the public school system so I'm not a lot of help in that regard. However, I do know that this year will be a learning year for both of you as you try to figure out the best way to teach him. But I promise you, you can do it. There is no one on this planet that is more invested in your child than you are and no one else that wants him to succeed as much as you do. With that kind of care, concern, and passion you can figure this out. Start with Time4Learning, if that's what you're using. If a subject is too difficult in that grade level, move him back. My son struggles in math so he's a grade level behind and if he's still struggling as this year starts for us, he'll move back even further until it starts to click with him. Start slowly. Start gently. Read a lot together and visit places that are of interest to him. Let him develop a love of learning this year. For once, this gets to be all about your son.

    It will be a tough year as you find your rhythm. But it can't be worse than being dismissed by teacher after teacher.

    You can do this.
    Homeschooling My Three Sons
    5th Grade, 1st Grade, and a preschooler!
    Army Family since 2003

  3. #3
    wxmama is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2013


    Sharon .. I am so sorry that you've had to deal with that. I can so relate. We recently moved from Cary, and I had to pull my daughter after 4th b/c of similar issues. I was thrilled to get her back in Wake (I went through WCPSS Magnets as a kid in the 70s-80s), and from the absolute start, they failed her. She had an IEP from K-forward, but not only did they fairly well refuse some of what I asked for (then actually demanded later on), they would forget parts of her IEP that had been in place year after year (in one of the smallest schools in the county). I won't say that she's an easy child, by any stretch; but I was constantly there, *begging* to be any help that I could (except in the classroom, where I would be even more of a distraction). In the last year, I was actually told, after trying to give some advice and ask about homework assignments (you wouldn't believe how difficult it was just to get HW assignments!!) - twice - "let us handle her for 6-1/2 hours; you can have her the rest of the time". She's bipolar, has several anxiety disorders (ptsd, sep anxiety, etc), adhd, and has some major sensory issues. We bent over backward, even going to day treatment for 8mos. I begged to allow NAMI to come in and educate them on bipolar and the behavior manifestations of that disorder, especially mixed with anxiety & adhd, but they just stared at me like I was an idiot, *actually rolling eyes* (like, "lady -- we've seen it all), refusing to believe that her behavior was anything other than purposeful, even after she finished 2nd grade in the hospital (24d). I've been through plenty of school myself, lol, but I've got no clue how to make my girl understand the stuff that I find so easy. Her testing has gone routinely downhill in the 4 times she's been retested (esp in math -- but it was all because she "refused" to do the work, bleh). Last year was a debacle ... we were in an accident in which I broke my back and totaled our car ... so I was out of commission for the first few months of homeschool! Add to that a crashed computer after that and resulting money woes, and our first year was just lost time on top of lost time. HOWEVER ... you really can do it, because you have your son's best interest in mind, like you know. The school has many interests in mind, and with the current climate, there's not much actual teaching going on, just test-teaching. Don't even get me started on the calculators and "new new math" (oy!). I don't know how they learn anything with so many ways being taught and so much "theory" at such young ages. At any rate (I segue a little too often, lol) ... When I have days/weeks like I used to have after school - trying to RE-teach the simplest math concepts (we're still on place values .. she'll be 12 in Nov) after a long day at school and we've argued for hours on why we have to do it and then getting maybe one entire problem done - I know I've made the correct decision. I may be teaching the same things again and again still, but I can see when/if she's understanding it, and where I'm losing her. I can try to apply things to real-world situations, and possibly trigger understanding. I don't just get angry, stick her in the back of the class, facing the wall (maybe additionally shaming her in front of her classmates - seriously), and move on. If I can just improve her self-confidence, I'll know I've made ALL the difference. Hang in there.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2013


    Hi Sharon,

    I am also new to both homeschooling and Time4Learning. Our stories are similar. My 13 year old daughter with Aspergers has received absolutely nothing from the middle school setting. I have degrees and several certifications in regular education and special eduction, so the what and how of teaching and homeschooling are easy for me. The social opportunities and logistics are the hard parts for me because I have to work during the day. I have used SuccessMaker in the public education setting in another state with great success and that is how I stumbled upon Time4Learning (they are connected, or this is modeled after that, or something). It would be great to connect for discussion, homeschooling idea sharing, and middle school age social opportunities!


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