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  1. #1
    Hotrod is offline Junior Member
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    Default Hello! New here!

    Hello! My name is Carey and my son is Jason and he is 10 ( will be 11 in April ). We have had some pretty major things happening that have forced us to tackle homeschooling. I am not going to go into to everything because you would be here all day reading my " book".... but I will give you a very quick generic run down of recent events. I am hoping by sharing that we will not only gain support with our homeschooling needs but possibly find someone else on here that has went through something simular and can maybe offer some idea's or feedback.

    * August 2008 Jason was diagnosed with ADHD
    * Beginning of Oct. 2008 Jason started having some unusual unacceptable at times disturbing behavior both at home and at school.
    * Oct 21st 2008 I was in a bad car accident. My toyota corrolla vs. a semi sized RV....I suffered a spinal cord injury ( C4-6 lession w/ T8 function Asia C and also injury to my L4-5 ). I also had some TIA's as a result of my injury. I came home in a wheelchair. As a result I had to close my business and right around the same time my husbands employer informed us they were closing their doors.
    * Dec 1st 2008 my parents who lived 500 miles away offered to rent us one of their rental properties at a reduced rate and we would also be closer to them so they could offer some support. So we sold everything we owned and moved from central Florida to North Georgia in the mountains on Dec 15th.
    * Jason was immediately enrolled in public school here. In the mean time his behavior issues were progressively getting worse. So we made an appointment for him to see a phycologist up here. They couldnt see him until Feb. In the mean time he was becoming EXTREMELY violent, disrespectful, unpredictable, suicidal.
    * When we finally got him in, the doctor said he thought Jason was having side effects from the medication for his ADHD and decided to take him off the medication. To see if he improved. Day one off of the medication was last wed. and it went VERY bad. We got a call from the school saying one minute he was fine and then he just lost it. It was REALLY bad and the school said that they were afraid he was a danger to himself and also all of them ( it took 4 people to get him to the office and they had to physically remove a pencil from his hand ) as well as a danger to the other students. They said that they would suspend him but that they were not sure that school was the place for him again until after he is on the right meds. They thought he should be facilitated to exact. So I took him in on an emergency basis to the phycologist office. When we got there he was over it and acting like a normal kid again. The phycologist wasnt available but the counsiler was and so he talked to Jason for a bit and said he thought the school over reacted. So we left his office and he said the phycologist would call me later in the day. No sooner did we leave and Jason started slamming his head into the car window saying let me out and then got louder and hit the glass harder and started cussing and yelling let me out. We went back and the phycologist was able to talk to us at that point and he said to continue with no meds and call him on Monday to let him know how Jason is doing. If we have an emergency we need to call the office. He said he thinks Jason could have ADHD with bipolor or possibly something else all together. So....since then we have been on a horrible roller coaster. He was taken out of public school and enrolled in homeschool also on wed. He did good using T4L on Thurs. and Fri. and I think this is the best thing for him as far as school goes. In the mean time I have been trying to read up on bipolor and also trying to find anything else it could be. He is completely off of the medication and he is ALOT more hyper but no change with the other things.

  2. #2
    Stephanie739's Avatar
    Stephanie739 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    Hi Carey! Welcome!! My heart goes out to you and your son....so many things to deal with...
    Your child's health and mental stability is so much more important than school at this point, IMO. School can wait - its not going anywhere!

    If I were in your situation, I would let him explore lessons at his pace, and on lower levels. T4L levels seem more advanced than the public school system. I wouldn't want anything to frustrate him with school.....ease him in.....

    I am so sorry about your accident, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. This is a really great forum, so don't hesitate to ask questions, etc. God bless you!!!!
    ~Stephanie

    mom to:
    Tori (13)
    Meghan (9)
    Andy (5)

  3. #3
    7031annie is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    Carey your fam has been through alot. My son is 13 and severly ADHD. He was on medication and was fine for awhile altho not exactly himself, by this I mean it seeemed as if a big chunk of his creativity was supressed. Anyway they ended up also adding a mood stabilizer/anti depressent and he after awhile turned violent with outburst. He never actually hurt anyone other than himself with head banging and hair pulling but it was very scary and he was using very bad language. I felt like just renting a closet and living at the school I was there so much. And we had alot of things going on in our family and each little thing would send him spiralling as he could not control it. He would do things and say things and after he calmed down just cry and say he was sorry that he didnt know why he done things. He is very bright and his grades went to all f's. We made the decision to pull him from school in Dec and weened him off his meds. He is just now getting back to being able to handle things better. He still has outburst at times but they ARE getting less frequent and more to normal teen outburst. He is now very very hyper but after dealing with the attitude just having the hyperness is a blessing. It does take time for those meds to leave his system.
    We also had a very nice teacher at his school that told us to cut out MSG in foods. I was skeptical but willing to try anything and honestly it made a huge difference in some things. I now can tell within hours if he cheated and ate something he shouldnt have. He will get a headache or have outburst because his head hurts. At this point I have decided to not give him any more meds and just use behavioral therapy. It takes time but is working. Also we use the phrase "1-2-3 eyes on me" when he is in hyper drive and not listening. He has learned this means "wow I need to slow down and try to listen."
    a big thing is we have all learned to pick our battles with him. He is a night person and just wired this way. He does most of his school work later in the evening and I keep alot of hands on things for him to do. Even just clay to play with while watching tv makes a difference as he will build like models and stuff with it while sitting. Also learning that he listens even if he is hanging upside down off the couch, walking, or tapping things on the desk constantly helped.
    Im not sure if any of this helps. ((((((hugs)))))))
    Annie..military wife & crazy mom of 3 wonderful kids A demented kitty, A crazy conure and a Hyper Lab

  4. #4
    MOMMY24 is offline Member
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    Carey,

    As I began reading your post, I was possitive I was going to hear "Bipolar" in there somewhere. I'm about in tears here. I so feel for you. My son is almost 12, he's bipolar, PDD and ADHD. He's had "issues" since birth, and we've been on this "rollercoaster" you mentioned since. I would love to share some of what I've learned with you, but 12 years of stress, heartache, frustration with the public school system and the medical community would take me months to type. I've been in your shoes with my own son. These kids can be fine, loving, sweet and thoughtful one minute, and then you'd think they were posessed the next. It's not hopeless! Things can and will improve! The answers are out there, but unfortunately, you have to almost make it a fulltime job to find them. When trying to maneuver through the system and expedite these doctor appointments, the key words to use are, "dangerous, unsafe, and suicidal". It may seem a bit excessive, but assure you, if the situation is as serious as you were saying, these are key words to use to get the help you desperately need. You tell the doctor that he is a danger to himself and others, threatning or acting on suicidal thoughts, and you fear for his safety. If you want him to be back in ps at some point, you need to research your "parental rights" in your local school district. You need to go back to your school and request, in writing, an IEP meeting. Here in Maryaldn, your son would qualify for an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) based soley on the ADHD diagnosis. With the acting out, and Bipolar diagnosis, it would be "emotional Disturbance". If your goal is to get him back in school at some point, you need to begin this process as it could take 6 months to put into place.

    As far as his work at home, don't stress over it. Health first, this includes your health and sanity, then learning. Set a minimum of what you would like to get done. Give him a prize if he completes it, and an additional reward for exceeding your goal. If it's a really bad day, he isn't going to get much out of it, and you'll drive youself crazy trying so take the day off from traditional schoolwork, and watch some educational tv...discovery, disc. health, disc. kids, history (my kids love cities of the underworld). Take a fieldtrip, a walk in nature, or help him build something.

    As far as the meds go, there are some meds, that are used for the ADD portion that will cause them to become more hateful and excessive and violent. Antidepressants like prozac, that are commonly used can also cause negative behaviors and suicidal thoughts and actions in young children. One of the most commonly used medications for Bipolar is Depakote (it comes in many generics like valporic acid, Depakene, etc). It lists some scary sounding side effects, but my son has been on it off and on since he was 4 and has never had any side effects aside from the weight gain.

    Ok, I've written so much more than I'd planned. You can email me directly: [email protected]. I'll give my # and we can chat in more detail.

    I'll keep you in my prayers!
    Stacey
    (Mommy24)

  5. #5
    MamaMary's Avatar
    MamaMary is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    Oh (((Carey)))

    I am so sorry for all that you've been through. My heart is so "full" for how much your life has changed in such a short period of time. I cannot even imagine how overwhelming life must feel at this moment. However, I hope you were encouraged as you read Stacey's post. She had such sage, seasoned advice. Please know there are many homeschoolers walking this same journey with you. bipolar disorder comes up quite a bit. Many moms feel just as overwhelmed in the beginning. So take heart that there is HOPE and that you are just in a learning curve. The one thing you have going on that makes it different than all the rest is your car accident and spinal cord injury. I agree with what the others shared regarding school. Right now, that is secondary to physical/emotional well being.

    How are you feeling physically? Did the TIA's have any lasting effects on your physically? How about your spinal cord injury? Are you able to participate in therapy? Please know that this is a safe place to come and hang out with other moms when you need a place to go or let-GO!

    (((Big Hugs)))
    Mary

    PS- I will tell you that Time4Learning sounds like the perfect program for you with all you have going on in your life.
    Mary, Child of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Wife to best friend and Mama to her four boys 91, 96, 00, 02, Homeschooling since 1998! Come visit us on our blog! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/

  6. #6
    Hotrod is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    Hello, and thank you to everyone for your responses. Jason met with the phycologists yesterday as well as his counsiler and they are sending him for bloodwork today. They didnt say if they still think he has ADHD but they did say they want to keep him off of the ADHD meds and are looking into getting him started on meds for bipolar. They are sending him for bloodwork and then when we go back on the 16th they said that between what we see in his behavior as well as the bloodwork we should have some more definative answers. So...in the mean time Jason is not on any meds and if he gets to bad the doctor said we can call the office and he will tell us what we should do from there. Yesterday he was VERY hyper but we did not see any of the "bazar" behavior that he has been having. And today ( for now ) seems to be another good day for him. Also he seems to be responding well to the T4L curriculum. He really likes it and maybe it is because it is still new to him, but he looks forward to his lessons. Math is his favorite. Monday was his first day doing one of each of the subjects and that seemed to be a little much for him. He gets overwhelmed with reading ( although he reads very well ). I have noticed if it " looks " like a lot of reading or work in general on the page then he shuts down and doesnt even want to try it. So I try to break it up and make it fun....like I will tell him it is a race so lets do a certain amount of work and then run around the house as fast as you can and I'll time you or jumping jacks between each problem. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. Today I am going to have him hold a stress ball while he does his work and see if something in his hands helps with the figiting or anything else it might help with. It cant hurt to explore options. Also I have split up his work now in an attempt to make it less overwhelming. On Mon, Wed, and Fri we are doing LA extentions, Math, and Language Arts. On Tues, Thurs, and Sat we are doing Social Studies, Math and Science. Breaking the lessons up seems to help. It worked well yesterday for us.

    Mary- As for as my health...I feel okay. I do have lasting effects from the spinal cord injury and the TIA's. My entire left side is asleep and also a small part of my right side lower extremities from the spinal cord injury. My left hand and arm have movement even though they are asleep. The doctor said I am very lucky because with the injury that I have apparently I should not have much if any function below my neck including my ability to breathe on my own. I can breathe fine on my own and still do quite a bit for myself. I have a live-in caregiver to help with the little things I have trouble with as far as stuff like putting on my shoes on ( I can almost do it with assistance devices and hope to be able to master it in the near future ) and household stuff like making beds or dusting cieling fans, etc. The TIA's effected my short term memory and also my spelling / writing. I use to be a pretty ok speller / writer but for some reason now I sometimes switch letters around or just completely miss spell the easiest of words all together or use the wrong word both in writing and verbally ( like earlier today I was trying to tell Jason to get in the car and I told him to get in the dog ....this doesnt happen alot any more just occasionally )and sometimes I leave words out all together when writing sentences. I have to go back and read and reread EVERYTHING and sometimes I still miss a few things. My life is different now but I still do pretty good. It hasnt really slowed me down to much. Some things I have had to re-learn how to do in a new way. A good example would be getting dressed....I had to learn how to put my pants on without bending over or standing up and while using only one fully working hand. At first it was impossible but I have mastered it now. Overall there is not much that I can not do. I even drive. I need help loading and unloading my wheelchair and I use assistance devices to help me drive but I can still do it. My husband and kids call me Hotrod because I zoom around all over the place in my powerchair and still get everything I need to get done for the day done in record time.

  7. #7
    MamaMary's Avatar
    MamaMary is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    Oh Carey,

    It sounds like everything went well yesterday. You have such a wonderful wonderful attitude. (Glass half FULL) I wanted to tell you something a lot of moms use for children who need to move while working. It's called Bees Wax and they buy it from http://www.timberdoodle.com It's very kneadable and keeps hands busy while working. The stress ball is a great idea too. (Just trying to add to your resources )

    Your family sounds like such a wonderful "team". Their nickname for you shows their love and support! I can almost see you speeding all over the place!
    Mary, Child of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Wife to best friend and Mama to her four boys 91, 96, 00, 02, Homeschooling since 1998! Come visit us on our blog! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/

  8. #8
    SahmIam is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    I don't have any experience with anything going on in your life, but I did want to offer you a big hug and welcome you to the forums. Please keep us posted on what's going on with your family.
    Melissa.

  9. #9
    zachth3 is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    I am so sorry for all that you've been through. My heart is so "full" for how much your life has changed in such a short period.Though i have no experience of this kind of situations but still i wanna to help you.

  10. #10
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    denimay is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Hello! New here!

    My heart goes out to you and your family as well. I hope your son is feeling better and able to move on drug free. Please keep us updated on your and your son's progress. You are not alone! deni............
    deni may ............
    artist and teacher

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