I need help with my 8yr son and thinking skills
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    SarahT is offline Member Regular
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    79

    Default I need help with my 8yr son and thinking skills

    I've been struggling with him in the Language Arts thinking skills section.
    He doesn't get it, and he never has any real thoughts on anything.
    I don't know how to explain thinking to him. I know it explains it, but he still doesn't get it, and just has a hard time comprehending some things that he reads. I absolutely do not mind explaining things to him, and looking up words, but trying to help someone think is just impossible for me.
    I can't stop crying, because I feel like I can't help him, and I want to yell and scream. Not necessarily at him, but at myself, and the fact that my son has trouble with THINKING.
    He is not the type to be creative either when it comes to making up stories, or pretend play. In fact, he doesn't do these things, and it is so hard.
    I had to make him stop the assignment today, because I was getting upset. I just need to know how to help him, and I don't know how right now.

  2. #2
    hearthstone_academy's Avatar
    hearthstone_academy is offline Administrator
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    OR
    Posts
    6,879
    Blog Entries
    18

    Default

    Sarah, what level is he working at? I took a look at the third grade lessons. Are you talking about the Think Alouds?

    Can you remind me of his special needs? Does he have an actual diagnosis of some sort?

    You might want to practice with him by limiting his choices somewhat. It can be overwhelming to be asked, "What do you think will happen next?" when there are an infinite number of possibilities. You could try reading a story to him and stopping periodically to ask what will happen next . . . but ask, for example, "Do you think the dog will find his bone or do you think the boy will make the dog go home first?"

    Mom of six . . . current students and homeschool graduates. Enjoying using Time4Learning since 2006!

  3. #3
    SarahT is offline Member Regular
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    79

    Default

    We are working through the think aloud stuff. We are on Level 2, part 2 of those.
    I do help him in the way you described. I give him examples of what other people might think or questions they might have. I even tell him that it is okay to say that he is thinking, "I don't understand what i"m reading!"
    He does NOT like to be wrong, and it really bothers him. I try telling him t hat it is okay, and there is no right or wrong answer.
    He has not had a full on diagnosis, other than the blanket diagnosis given by his speech therapist, and his doctor. That blanket diagnosis was high functioning Autism. I really need to get him in for a full on evaluation.
    Normally what I do when they have problems in any area, I figure out what the problem is, and I come up with several ways to handle it. I research my tail off until I find something that will help them.
    He is good at math so far, and he is amazing with spelling, and has learned how to show great compassion towards people that he truly cares about. Everyone else can screw off basically. He has come so, so far with his reading, and is at grade level as far as fluency goes. However, he does NOT like to read for entertainment purposes. He will read if he HAS to, and I work my tail off to find material that he might read. We spend most of his independent reading times reading together, and I will ask him questions, and explain what certain words mean.
    I try to remember that if he WAS in public school, things would be even harder for him, and he probably wouldn't be as far as he is at this point.
    So, do you think that me giving him possible ways that people would think would be enough, and at some point he will get it?
    I mean, it took him until he was almost 5 to answer some questions, like what is your name, and how old are you? He would just look at people like, "Why are you talking to me, you fool."
    I wish so badly, that I could see inside his head. Okay, well, we are skipping the rest of the school day, and heading to the library, where I will find some more help books to hopefully help me and him understand each other more.. UGH..
    I'm just very emotional over all right now.

  4. #4
    hearthstone_academy's Avatar
    hearthstone_academy is offline Administrator
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    OR
    Posts
    6,879
    Blog Entries
    18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahT
    He does NOT like to be wrong, and it really bothers him. I try telling him t hat it is okay, and there is no right or wrong answer.
    Is it possible that he DOES think, but is reluctant to verbalize it because heis afraid it will be different than what you expect? Many people learn not to trust the phrase, "There's no right or wrong answer".

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahT
    Normally what I do when they have problems in any area, I figure out what the problem is, and I come up with several ways to handle it. I research my tail off until I find something that will help them.
    You know he HAS to be benefiting from that kind of dedicated parenting.

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahT
    However, he does NOT like to read for entertainment purposes. He will read if he HAS to, and I work my tail off to find material that he might read.
    A lot of parents say the same thing about their typical kids.

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahT
    We spend most of his independent reading times reading together, and I will ask him questions, and explain what certain words mean.
    I try to remember that if he WAS in public school, things would be even harder for him, and he probably wouldn't be as far as he is at this point.
    There's another example of that dedicated parenting.

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahT
    So, do you think that me giving him possible ways that people would think would be enough, and at some point he will get it?
    I wish I was qualified to answer that question. I know it just takes longer for some kids.

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahT
    I wish so badly, that I could see inside his head.
    All I can offer here is empathy. I've felt the same way about my son with special needs. I'd love to be able to see how his brain works.

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahT
    Okay, well, we are skipping the rest of the school day, and heading to the library, where I will find some more help books to hopefully help me and him understand each other more.. UGH..
    I'm just very emotional over all right now.
    Sounds like a good plan to ease the stress somewhat.[/quote]

    I know there are other parents of kids with autism on this board. Does anyone have any suggestions for Sarah and her son?

    Mom of six . . . current students and homeschool graduates. Enjoying using Time4Learning since 2006!

  5. #5
    SarahT is offline Member Regular
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    79

    Default

    I just grabbed a book about reading disabilities, and I'm hoping to find something in here that might help me out.. Time for me to request some new books, because they didn't have too much on the subject I am looking for.
    Thank you Kelli!

  6. #6
    aandwsmom's Avatar
    aandwsmom is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    932

    Default

    Just a hint for reading material for him:

    Choose Your Own Adventure series
    Which Way Book series

    These can be long and short stories, depending upon the choices the child makes.
    My NON-reader loves these because HE is making all the decisions and majority of the time, the story is short PLUS its some wild adventure.
    He still doesnt read for fun, but doesnt put up as much of a fuss when its reading time either.

  7. #7
    ambertopaz75 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    kent,washington
    Posts
    343

    Default

    Hi Sarah. I have a 10y/o boy with PDD-NOS which is an autism spectrum disorder high functioning. When he was younger he was the same way about not wanting to give a "wrong" answer even when there isn't one. He still falls back to it sometimes but as he has gotten older he has gotten better. I did what you are doing with your son, basically just kept explaining things to him and giving him examples. Sometimes,when we were reading together, I would say what I thought was going to happen next. If I already knew what was going to happen next I would say something different then ask him what he thought sometimes he would answer mostly not but then when we read on and he saw my answer was different then what actually happen he saw I was ok with it. Sometimes he would point it out " Mom you were wrong" I would say " ya but wouldn't it have been neat if the dog really was an alien from the planet Dogmar" or whatever crazy answer I had come up with. We also did an exercise where we made up our own stories. I would start with a few sentences then ask him what should happen next then he would say a sentence or two then it was back to me. Sometimes he would just come up with an idea of what came next but he got more and more involved in our stories. We did them verbally and never wrote them down but they were fun and we still talk about them sometimes. Now my son even likes to write his own songs. There may not be a Grammy in his future but it sure does make all the hard work and tears of the past worth it.
    Amber
    13y/o son with PDD-NOS

  8. #8
    witchly's Avatar
    witchly is offline Senior Member Guru
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    422

    Default

    Adding onto the theory that many say nothing as to not give a wrong answer. We have found being wrong ourselves is very helpful to my son. When he was younger I would purposely give a wrong answer to things I just knew he had the correct answer for - almost always he would catch my error. I would thank him and say something about how everyone is wrong sometimes and that is ok. If he didn't catch my error I would catch it myself and correct. At 13 he loves to tell me I'm wrong LOL - but that is a different story. As far as education, he is much better about putting his ideas/thoughts out there now knowing that no one will laugh/chastise him for the "wrong" idea - being homeschooled is very helpful in that sense.
    Robyn
    Secular homeschooler of 1 son (14)
    http://feeds.feedburner.com/RobynsOnlineWorld.1.gif

  9. #9
    SarahT is offline Member Regular
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    79

    Default

    OH, thank you so much for your replies.
    I absolutely LOVE the idea of writing a story together, and going back and forth.
    I think he would REALLY enjoy this. I could type them up for him.

  10. #10
    ambertopaz75 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    kent,washington
    Posts
    343

    Default

    I wish I would of written them down. Having that as a keepsake is going to be wonderful for you and your son.
    Amber
    13y/o son with PDD-NOS

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •