Need help with my 12 year old ADHD child
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  1. #1
    mom2seven is offline Junior Member
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    Question Need help with my 12 year old ADHD child

    I have 7 kids doing T4L (ages 6-13) and my 12 year old that had ADHD isn't handling T4L well. He gets upset over all the quizzes and starts crying and than gets mad and yells he's not going to do them. After and few minutes of him yelling and crying he does the quiz and falls and than he starts crying and yelling more and redoes the quiz and falls again.

    I've tred helping him with the quizzes, I've tried rewarding him if he doesn't get upset over the whole thing and tries his best, I've tried getting his dad and older brother helping him. Nothing is working. I can't stand how upset he is over this. I know he may be just testing me to see if I cave and let him not do the quizzes but that's not going to happened because I need to see if he really did learn anything.

    Also him acting this way is causing the younger ones to get mad when they have a quiz.

    Anyone have a suggestion for me?
    Oh and yes I know the work isn't too hard for him, he should be in 7th and most of his work is 5th. He was in public school last year and they had him mostly on 5th grade work. We spend weeks trying different grade levels for each subject to find where he needed to be.

  2. #2
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    MamaMary is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom2seven View Post
    I have 7 kids doing T4L (ages 6-13) and my 12 year old that had ADHD isn't handling T4L well. He gets upset over all the quizzes and starts crying and than gets mad and yells he's not going to do them. After and few minutes of him yelling and crying he does the quiz and falls and than he starts crying and yelling more and redoes the quiz and falls again.

    I've tred helping him with the quizzes, I've tried rewarding him if he doesn't get upset over the whole thing and tries his best, I've tried getting his dad and older brother helping him. Nothing is working. I can't stand how upset he is over this. I know he may be just testing me to see if I cave and let him not do the quizzes but that's not going to happened because I need to see if he really did learn anything.

    Also him acting this way is causing the younger ones to get mad when they have a quiz.

    Anyone have a suggestion for me?
    Oh and yes I know the work isn't too hard for him, he should be in 7th and most of his work is 5th. He was in public school last year and they had him mostly on 5th grade work. We spend weeks trying different grade levels for each subject to find where he needed to be.
    Bless your heart! I know how hard it is to help our children find a way to feel successful. I had one child who really struggled with the quizzes and so I began sitting with him through them. I found that he was frustrated when the quiz would ask a question and while he was thinking it would repeat itself and interrupt his thinking.

    I now sit and do all his quizzes with him. I have him mute the sound and I read the questions. This child has Central Auditory Processing Disorder so I don't know if that is applicable for your son.

    I would suggest sitting with him and seeing where he's getting frustrated. I hope this helps and look forward to hearing your feedback.
    Mary, Child of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Wife to best friend and Mama to her four boys 91, 96, 00, 02, Homeschooling since 1998! Come visit us on our blog! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/

  3. #3
    mom2seven is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaMary View Post
    Bless your heart! I know how hard it is to help our children find a way to feel successful. I had one child who really struggled with the quizzes and so I began sitting with him through them. I found that he was frustrated when the quiz would ask a question and while he was thinking it would repeat itself and interrupt his thinking.

    I now sit and do all his quizzes with him. I have him mute the sound and I read the questions. This child has Central Auditory Processing Disorder so I don't know if that is applicable for your son.

    I would suggest sitting with him and seeing where he's getting frustrated. I hope this helps and look forward to hearing your feedback.

    Thank you. I have tried this but he wants to do it on his own. Most of the time he gets frustrated as soon as he sees theres a quiz. After he does it on his own 4-5 times he'll let me sit with him and help him. I just with he would let me help the 1st time.

  4. #4
    mcmary is offline Member
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    That's great that your son wants to work independently. I've learned that with social studies (grade 7) I need to sit down with my daughter and take notes in order for her to do well on the quizzes. To be honest, I'd need to take to notes in order to pass them myself because they involve lots of questions that refer to specific names and that sort of thing, which are details that can be difficult to remember when simply going through the lesson once. She (age 12) has plenty of other activities that she does independently, so she doesn't mind if I sit with her for some of her work. Hopefully if your son realizes that doing some subjects with mom speeds up the process and makes it less stressful, he'll be more open to it!

  5. #5
    mom2seven is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmary View Post
    That's great that your son wants to work independently. I've learned that with social studies (grade 7) I need to sit down with my daughter and take notes in order for her to do well on the quizzes. To be honest, I'd need to take to notes in order to pass them myself because they involve lots of questions that refer to specific names and that sort of thing, which are details that can be difficult to remember when simply going through the lesson once. She (age 12) has plenty of other activities that she does independently, so she doesn't mind if I sit with her for some of her work. Hopefully if your son realizes that doing some subjects with mom speeds up the process and makes it less stressful, he'll be more open to it!

    Thank you, I hear you on the needing to take note to pass some of these quizzes. There was one a while back my daughter was having a hard time on couldn't get a grade higher than a 50 so I toke the quiz and I got a 30, LOL. So we printed all the quizzes and looked over the ones we both got wrong and re-toke the quiz and she got a 80.
    I guess with my 12 year old it's also since he's the 2nd oldest of 7 kids and I HAVE to help the youngest 2 he might feel like he's TOO old to have me helping him. I try to make it clear EVERYONE needs my help on something and it's OK to ask me to help or even sit with him while doing test and quizzes.
    I'm VERY lucky that we all homeschool at my husbands work (he's a photographer with no employes) and he's able to come into our classroom and help most of the time.

  6. #6
    chemita is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    To Mom2Seven,

    You are very lucky to have wonderful kids. No matter what the challenges we have in raising them, we always remember that foremost, children are gifts. Each child is unique. The challenge we have with one is always different fromt he others. Your son is starting to be independent. As a man, naturally, he wants to learn to do things on his own without mom's help. Being there for him will make help him feel that you are there when he needs you. There are <a href="http://teen-boarding-school.com"> alternate schools </a> that offer therapeutic classes and programs for children with ADHD. Your love for your son will always work for his advantage. Do not lose hope.

  7. #7
    getxtina is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Have you tried seeking alternate options such as boarding schools or any form of an alternate environment, etc? Boarding schools are really misinterpreted. See, activities such as outdoor recreation, development of life skills, the teaching of appropriate social relationships, leadership development, field trips are going to be personalized. Some schools do not even have that kind of experience, much alone, individualized therapy. I really hope that parents take the time to research of alternate schools before they judge. I've read parents testimonials regarding seeking other alternatives perhaps in the future should you require more info on Turning Winds Academic Institute or any other alternate environments for your 12 y.o. maybe it is time that your child gets to be in an environment that specializes in kids like him. To echo the others, do not lost hope.

  8. #8
    CTerp is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    I know this is a little late. I hope you've found answers by now but I have twin 16yo boys, one with ADD and one with ADHD so I thought I would pass along a few general suggestions. Our fellow who has ADHD has pretty predictable times during the day when he is more easily frustrated. Timing is so important for him.
    The other thing we've found with him is that he deals better with anything if he can move while he's doing it. He takes motion breaks when he is working at the table. He just takes a few minutes to just get up, spin, dance, walk around, shadow box.. you name it he's done it. Allowing him that freedom really seems to help and after a few minutes we have him go back to work. Sometimes I think half of his frustration comes from having to sit still and it makes hit harder for him to focus on school work.
    I don't know if it's possible to do with quizzes but we've found that making learning interactive and more game-like helps him stay focused. Or if there is a lot of material in front of him he'll cover up part of it so he can focus on a small piece at a time.

    Good luck with your son. ADHD kids are amazing and I hope you find a way to help him conquer his frustration with those quizzes.

  9. #9
    maricelcadz is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Children with ADHD may experience frequent mood swings and hot tempers, which they are unable to control to the point that they experience outbursts of anger and an inability to wait patiently.

    They have a very low threshold for frustration and can become irritable when pushed to complete their school work. Because many children who have ADD and ADHD don't perform well in traditional public or private schools, being placed in a therapeutic boarding schools or in a adhd schools will help them develop goo study habits.

    Last edited by maricelcadz; 03-29-2011 at 03:53 AM.

  10. #10
    maricelcadz is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Quote Originally Posted by getxtina View Post
    Have you tried seeking alternate options such as boarding schools or any form of an alternate environment, etc? Boarding schools are really misinterpreted. See, activities such as outdoor recreation, development of life skills, the teaching of appropriate social relationships, leadership development, field trips are going to be personalized. Some schools do not even have that kind of experience, much alone, individualized therapy. I really hope that parents take the time to research of alternate schools before they judge. I've read parents testimonials regarding seeking other alternatives perhaps in the future should you require more info on Turning Winds Academic Institute or any other alternate environments for your 12 y.o. maybe it is time that your child gets to be in an environment that specializes in kids like him. To echo the others, do not lost hope.
    Turning Winds Academic Institute is one of the nation’s top private therapeutic boarding schools.

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