New here / child with ADHD
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  1. #1
    cassiedavis@opbincome.com is offline Member Newbie
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    Default New here / child with ADHD

    Hello everyone,

    My name is Cassie and I am now home schooling my son after many months of problems with the school system here.

    First let me start by saying that I KNOW ADHD can be challenging to say the least. But I have 2 out of my 3 with it so I have learned a trick or 2 that makes life a little easier.

    My son is 6 years old and has ADHD as well as an aggression issue when he first started school he was on Adderall and was doing very well with the meds ( 2 years before starting school) well about a month in I was getting calls from the school to come and get him. I tried a number of times to talk with the teacher and she just did not have time to talk so I said ok and i wrote notes ( keeping copies of everything) well she would never respond. So i went to the principle and requested my son be moved to another room with a teacher that had TIME for her JOB ! I was made to put my request in writing and submit it to the school board. GRRRRRR. well it took a few days but I got him moved . his teacher was very good at trying to work with me and with my son but I was still having to go get him everyday before lunch. They where saying he wont sit still , he wont do as he is told, he wants to rock and figit all the time... etc. well one day they cornered my son and he flipped out hitting the teacher and running out of the class room. they cornered him again in the office and where trying to hold him down ( red marks where seen for almost 48 hrs) i dont under stand what triggered this but the police where called BEFORE i was called and I was FORCED by the state to put him in the hosp for 9 days . once released they gave me a prescription for 2 new meds and sent him home.. the doctors there say that he needs to be in school to learn to deal with people and learn to handle his ADHD. My thoughts are this....

    He is the only white child in his grade level ( not a problem for me but when they single him out from the other kids he started asking what ELSE was wrong with him) and even asked me one day why it was wrong to be white ??????
    They placed his desk in the very back of the room while all the other kids get to sit 5 to a small table .
    They don't have teachers trained in the special needs area
    They call me to come get him everyday before lunch.
    He was in school a total of 6 months and he does not know a bit more than what I have taught him at home.
    they send his work home with him with a note telling me to make sure that he does it because he wont do it for them.
    He is not allowed to go to activity with the rest of the class ( ADHA he has trouble waiting for his turn in a game or activity)
    he has been left on the bus ( once)
    etc.

    Now the state is threatening me that I have missed the dead line to enroll him as home school and that if he does not go back to PS I can face charges and fines.


    If anyone has any advice on these matters ( or any advice on HS a child with ADHA ) it would be of great help. He loves the T4L and I think it will teach him more that sitting in the back of a class room any day !


    I would love to hear what works for other parents with kids that have ADHD.

    sorry that this is such a long post .... i will try to keep future ones a little shorter ....lol

    Although I have been know to be a talker all my life....lol



    - Cassie

  2. #2
    ambertopaz75 is offline Senior Member
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    I tried reading over your states homeschool law but it was a tad confusing about what qualified as "legitimate homeschool instruction program" I did find this site about legal support in your state. www.homeschoolinginmississippi.com/gettingstarted/legal/legalsupport.aspx You might want to give someone a call. Its the law in all 50 states that you have the right to homeschool your child. I didn't pull my son until October but I had no hassle with the school board being that I missed the deadline. My son has PDD-NOS and I too was called almost every single day to come pick him up. It got to the point that I dreaded the phone ringing and I couldn't go anywhere all I did was stay home waiting for the phone to ring. He got suspended a lot also for not listening, acting out and fighting. He was the only one to ever get in trouble the other kid always got off with a talk or nothing. My son was labeled the troubled child and that was that. Some of his teachers worked with us but the school district has such strict guidelines for what needs to be done that there was nothing his teacher do. I even lost my management position at work because I kept getting called to come pick up my son.
    Amber
    13y/o son with PDD-NOS

  3. #3
    cassiedavis@opbincome.com is offline Member Newbie
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    Thanks, I have read the laws here myself and contacted a lawyer about everything that has gone on. I have been told that as long as he is enrolled with the state as home schooled and i keep records of his work , grades, what is taught, etc that I can home school but the officer that is over the school attendance is saying that I have missed the dead line to do so.
    To make things worse my son cries and begs me not to send him back to that school .
    There is a program here called Gateway total home school and its 50.00 a year to enroll a child. You send then your weekly grades and they keep a record of them they also get the records from the old school and show him enrolled with them ( this would cover me state wise) because there an official school.

    I hate to hear that you lost your job because of your son ( can they do that) i mean is that really fair to you ?
    I work from home so I get to make my own hours .... the down side of that is I end up burning the midnight oil sometimes to stay caught up.

    My kids take up a lot of my day just getting the day to day things done then there home schooling . By the time i get to my job some days its after Dinner. lol ( any one else have this challenge ?)

    Do you stay home with your son all the time now ?

  4. #4
    ambertopaz75 is offline Senior Member
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    I got demoted but still work for the same company. I was not union so they could do pretty much what they wanted. They didn't say that was the reason they said "things weren't getting done" that was it. I now have a union position with better benefits and I don't have to deal with all the bs that comes with being a manager. I could of fought it but it was at a time that we were trying to get my son diagnosed and the place we were renting went condo so we were trying to find someplace to live. I also was not happy with my job and wanted to quit but I was a single mom at the time and it was not an option. I started working four days a week last January now I work about four and a half for the holidays. I am a baker at a grocery store and I am off before noon every day on my half days I work no later than five am. I am home in time for my husband to go to work. Mornings are not my sons best times so we mostly homeschool after lunch. Some days if he didn't get much done the day before we will do something easy in the morning to get it out of the way.

    The deadline in my state at least, is semi lenient. It is up to the school district to ok it or not if its past. Maybe if you mention to them that you have talked to a lawyer it will change their tune. I hope things work out for you. Oh also in my state if my district turns me down I can try another district in my state even if I don't live in that district. You might want to check into that. Some districts are more pro homeschool then others.
    Amber
    13y/o son with PDD-NOS

  5. #5
    cassiedavis@opbincome.com is offline Member Newbie
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    Looks like everything worked out really well for you . I plan on talking to the school board again this week. I just wish that they would understand that just because my son has problems does not make him a bad kid ( and that is how he is treated) .
    I thought about letting him go back.. but I dont think that the school here is a good fit for him. I even tried to talk to the teachers and other staff there to let them know what works at home for me. There reply was that they have to all follow the same rules and they expect them to all learn the routine of school.

    My son will not do something if you down right demand it but if you ask him to ( help you by or word it something like a question or a favor then he is jumping at the chance to do it for you. ( Am I wrong for sticking to this format ? Should I make him get use to taking orders ?)

    Another trick that helps him is to have something in his hands while you need his attention ... stress ball, old keys, rubrics cube, etc. the school refuses to let him have something like this.
    Once I was told that if he has something like that he is focused on the object and not what is being taught. Hogwash .... I know better I taught him his ABC's by allowing him to bounce a basketball as we said each letter. Then taught him to count with something to keep him still. other wise he cant sit in one place for more that 3 or 4 minutes.

    What are some of the things you do to keep your son engaged in the home school process ?

    I have a hard time getting my son to do work sheets but he loves to do the T4L as long as he can do one activity or 15 minutes and then take a break .

    so it takes a little while to get his work done through out the day.

  6. #6
    ambertopaz75 is offline Senior Member
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    The last school my son was at actually had something called the integrated program. It was a classroom that my son would visit almost every day and they would try and work through some of his behavior. Which was great he loved going there and if he could of stayed he would of loved that even more. But it wasn't an actual class more like a resource room so he got to go for like an hour or so a day at least three times a week. The didn't have the resources to let the children go more often or stay longer which sucked cause a lot of the kids who went there did so well while in a smaller more independent environment. The teachers in there were actually the ones who started my son with "feelers". Something to hold/ fondle while learning or doing an activity. Like your son it helped him focus more. There were a lot of autistic spectrum kids at the school so the teachers had been sent to classes to learn how to help kids cope and such. For this reason I loved this school but still when in a regular classroom my son would act out and get in trouble and have to go to the office. He spent more time in the office then his regular classroom. Which he sometimes enjoyed because he would work on the vice principals laptop but when he say kids go by he would want to leave then act out wanting to go with them. He wasn't allowed recess for a reason I think I already mentioned in another post. He was always blamed if something went bad. They would believe the other kids over my son every time. When it got to the point that a friend of his came up to me after school and said Brennan did nothing wrong it was the other kid. I confronted the school but it did no good. Because he was the "troubled" kid some of his friends were being teased for being friends with him and stopped. Oh the power of peer pressure even in the third grade.

    OK now your questions:

    What are some of the things you do to keep your son engaged in the home school process ?
    It all depends on his mood that day. Some days I don't have to do much other days its a struggle. I sit with him sometimes, especially with science. I think something that also gets him {"into it" is when we are out either running an errand or a field trip and people ask about him being out of school. He is so proud to say he is homeschooled. Making songs out of school work is something new that I have come up with. My son loves to sing and has written words to a couple of really sweet songs. I haven't tried this approach yet but am hoping it will be something to keep him engaged in science. The next chapter is about matter and energy and should be fun making a song about it.

    I also still have things for him to play with/fondle during school or even during errands. There is this really need childrens bookstore teachers workshop place that has these really weird pencil grips I get for my son for his writing. He loves the feel of them and he can play with it as he thinks what to write. He has sensory issues and the feel of the funky grip against his finger makes him feel goofy he says.


    When he was younger we used to play hot potato and whoever had the ball would have to come up with the name of an animal, the next letter of the alphabet or whatever we were learning about that day. I had forgotten all about that until just now. Oh I wonder if a ten year old is too old for hot potato?

    Oh one more thing about keeping my son engaged, he has his own workspace. Its a big old desk from IKEA that used to be mine. It has shelves for his notebooks and binder. Plus a top that we can display stuff on. His computer( my old one PC) is on it along with pictures of us/him. He has a web cam that is not actually hooked up to the internet but he can take funny pictures of himself as long as he is doing school work. I have some school type posters, a map or two and some drawings he did hung up around it. It faces the corner so his back is to the tv but part of one of the walls is our balcony door so he can look out side at the trees and weather. Sometimes he sees birds and looks them up in his bird book. He loves having his own special space. He enjoys giving me "permission" to use his computer sometimes( on it now but hes sleeping, shhhhhh)

    I really like the whole running down the hall idea. We live in an apartment but my downstairs neighbors are loud so I give my son some leeway on running in the house and even jumping on his trampoline. Our only rule is as long as its light outside. I am waiting for my neighbors to come up and complain and then I will ask so you must have a great surround sound system set up downstairs it sure sounds loud up here. I can even tell what video games they are playing.

    You also asked, Am I wrong for sticking to this format ? Should I make him get use to taking orders ?)


    He is six and most six year olds don't follow orders very well. Heck a lot of 33 year olds I know don't either. Learning to follow orders or even other peoples rules is something that all kids need to learn at some point. Teaching it to kids with special needs whether it be ADHD or and autism spectrum disorder like my son can be tough. My son is still learning. He also does better if you word it as a question or a favor. You demand something from him and out comes his pigheaded stubbornness( no idea where he gets that from, no mam no idea) . I got my son into Karate last spring and it has done wonders for him. I found a place nearby that is great with kids with special needs. He has had a major outburst and they just went with the flow. They didn't let him quit or give up when something was tough. Its pricey but I think it has worked better for him then four years of counseling. Plus he is learning a skill and is involved in something with other kids around his age so hes got his socialization that so many people worry about for homeschooled kids. Like we lock up our kids in the house and never let them interact with the outside world.

    Ok I didn't realize what time it was and I have to get my son and niece up to take her to school. I will apologize for my many errors in typing and puncuation. One I don't have my glasses on and can not see the screen well and two, I am just really bad at grammar.
    Amber
    13y/o son with PDD-NOS

  7. #7
    cassiedavis@opbincome.com is offline Member Newbie
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    LOL , My son spent alot of time in the office as well. When he would try to explain they would say that he doesn't know what he is talking about. So n so said that he..... or this kid saw him..... I know how you feel. I tried so hard to work with the school but seems like every time I turned around they where trying to make life harder on my son and I. They even called DHS and said that I was medically neglecting my son. He was on meds and ran out the drug store here had to order them and I didn't know that they where not in stock and with the insurance you have to wait till the last 3 days to get your refill. well it took 2 weeks to get his meds in because of a holiday that fell in there some where so he did not have his meds for that length of time. I sent a note to the school and just said that he was out and I was in the process of getting them re filled . They told DHS that I refused to keep him on his meds ! WHAT LIES ! I would never !


    I like your idea of giving your child his own work space we have done that as well. my son has his own desk ( that he helped his father build) and it sits in the kitchen facing the chalk board and our word wall etc.
    I hope to get him his OWN computer before long. I use a laptop and there are lots of programs on here that I use for my Job that I don't want him getting into by mistake so when he does his T4L I have to make sure I sit with him.
    lol

    Oh and BTW I am not that good at spelling or grammar either so dont worry about it I can read the typo language ( as my hubby calls it) quite well. lol

  8. #8
    ambertopaz75 is offline Senior Member
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    There should be a way on your laptop to set up different users so your son can log in as himself. You set up what programs he has access too and you can even put on parental control so he can't go anywhere on the internet you don't ok first. This is what we do for our son. We each have our own log in. My son has recently found youtube thanks to his cousin and was looking up not so nice videos( fart ones and other boy videos) we put a restriction( ok my husband did cause I am computer doh!) on my sons account so he can't get onto youtube without our permission. Its kind of a hassle sometimes when he is doing school work and has to look something up. My husband had set it up so he couldn't even Google but has since changed.
    Amber
    13y/o son with PDD-NOS

  9. #9
    cassiedavis@opbincome.com is offline Member Newbie
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    Thanks , I will have to check that out.
    But in the end I would like for him to have his own computer so that mine is not tied up and we can both be getting work done together.

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