Need advice on unqualified homeschool mom
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  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Unhappy Need advice on unqualified homeschool mom

    I need to know if there's anything I can do about my son and daughter in law homeschooling their 11 y/o son (for the 2nd time) because they can't seem to get along with public school authority. Please don't get me wrong, I almost hs one of my kids, but I knew I was not capable. Unfortunately, both my son and his wife are very narcisstic and believe they can homeschool their son. Just a little background, my grson has been in 4 different schools, she took him out of every one because of an argument she had with a teacher. You must do what my daughter in law says...
    This year, she is not even going to register him because she got into an argument with the last school Principle he had. My actual concern is that the last time she homeschooled him, he was doing 2nd gr work. They ordered his books, got the pc ready for him and that was it! He told me throughout the year that they would sleep late, yell at him, punish him for not doing his work...I never saw them sit with him ONE time to help him or explain something to him. My grson also told me they didn't help him. He went for 3 mos. without any books and pc because they were moving and didn't want to unpack it yet. Her mother finally told her that she needed to be more involved with him and help him. Poor thing, she tried but didn't understand the books herself. The next year, they put him in school, for 3rd gr. well, you all know what happened..he reapeated 2nd, and during that year the teachers told his parents that he was dyslexic. He was made fun of for being a year behind and that is why she's homeschooling him now...
    She's a very lazy person, she loves to sleep, doesn't cook, 3 kids, refuses to work to help my son with income...
    I'm so scare she is ruining my grsons education..he's gotten so smart and I told her she needs to concentrate on his computer skills because he has a bright future in that catagory...should I just but out and let things happen..I'm not a nosy mother in law, believe me, I never want to be around either of them. I'm even prepared not to ever see my grkids again if I'm able to do something about this because that's what she does if I give an opinon, or just disagree on anything. My family has never encountered anyone like this and it took me awhile to understand how narcissitic people think. There's no talking to either of them, they think they are smarter than others and will not take advice or criticism from anyone. I'm just so scared for my grsons' education. This is not fair to him. What do I do?

  2. #2
    M_alcorn is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2017

    Default Re: Need advice on unqualified homeschool mom

    Sounds to me further action needs to be taken. Sometimes people need a kick in the pants( so to speak) to get their gears going. I think you have a right to be concerned. Your grandson seems to be getting further and further behind in his education. The sad part is that your daughter-in-law is clueless to what shes doing to him. No disrespect but she seems very selfish. I think your son needs to take a stand and be a leader. Maybe things will change. Anyway, No offense meant on anything I said just replying.

  3. #3
    Sasquatchass is offline Junior Member Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2018

    Default Re: Need advice on unqualified homeschool mom

    CPS can investigate and determine whether the I neglect

  4. #4
    hearthstone_academy's Avatar
    hearthstone_academy is offline Administrator
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    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: Need advice on unqualified homeschool mom

    I don't think "homeschooling" is the problem. Either there are root problems in the family that go deeper than the homeschooling issue, OR perhaps people looking in from the outside do not understand homeschooling.

    For example, it takes no particular "qualifications" to homeschool your child. Most states recognize a parent's unique ability to teach their own child, since they taught them to walk and talk and eat with a spoon. Even the handful of states that want a parent to be qualified only require them to have a high school diploma or GED. Interestingly, no study has found a correlation between the parents' educational level and their homeschooled students' standardized test scores.

    An eleven-year-old may need to do second grade work in some subjects, especially if he is coming from a stressful public school situation. It is very, very common for children to work at different grade levels in each subject, which is part of the beauty of homeschooling. No two people learn at the same rate. Read My Child Isn't at Grade Level. Of course, college will be different, since they must master certain material to earn a degree, but there is HUGE variation in children who are still developing. (Look at the difference in the ages at which kids learn to sit up or walk as an example of this.)

    Homeschool families are allowed to sleep late if they want to. That's another plus. Studies do show that the majority of school age children are sleep deprived. Read Home School or School at Home?

    In the best homeschool family, others will probably never see a parent help with school work. Kids also WILL complain about school, regardless of who is doing the teaching. "My teacher won't help me" is a common excuse. Also, school is more than just sitting in front of a book or computer. See the above article. Riding a bike can be P.E., and it's just as valuable (maybe more so), than playing "active games" in a P.E. class.

    I'm not saying there are no problems here . . . I'm just cautioning that it could be a case of a child who has some specific needs that aren't being met in public school, and parents who are frustrated with that situation. Read The Angry Homeschooler.

    As a grandmother myself, I pretty much do as you mentioned . . . "butt out". If my grandkids were being abused, of course, I wouldn't keep quiet, but the educational method is really a matter of parental style and not something that is specifically "right" or "wrong". There are so many "right" ways! Calling CPS would probably permanently damage your relationship with your kids and I, personally, would never call so they could investigate "just in case". I would only call if my grandchild was clearly being abused or severely neglected.

    Not knowing your family personally, I can't really give advice. I just offer a few things to think about, and they might be a bit skewed, since I am so committed to educational choice.

    Best wishes as you sort through this with your family.

    Mom of six . . . current students and homeschool graduates. Enjoying using Time4Learning since 2006!

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