HELP!!! How do you stand up for Homeschooling when your family is against it?
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  1. #1
    JamieWest's Avatar
    JamieWest is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Question HELP!!! How do you stand up for Homeschooling when your family is against it?

    Hello everyone, I hope someone out there can give me some encouraging ideas on this. My husband and I have chosen to homeschool our 4 children (12,7,6,5) and my family is TOTALLY against it and it is causing problems. Now I really don't care what they think, but it makes "family" difficult. Fortunately we moved to MT/ND from FL this past March and we don't have to "face" them, but talking to them is horrible.
    I have just signed up for T4L this morning to use. We are getting started late do to moving to ND from MT, but very excited to start. All our kids are excited to do it. My last conversation with my mother and sister didn't go well. They have always been against homeschooling thinking it is "lower" but my husband and I "hate" public school. I swear my 12 yr old is the "dumbest smart kid" because of public school. In FL all they cared about was the FCAT, come on there is more to learning than just passing the FCAT.
    In MT/ND the public schools are wanting to start teaching the students things we don't believe are appropriate. We already disagree with some issues in public school because we are Christians and we have different beliefs and now they are wanting to start teaching K-5 about homosexuality and their view points are not ours, plus they want to begin not only teaching but showing K-5 private parts and that is something we like to handle at home, especially with our younger ones, they are already curious, that will only make it more so.
    Anywho, how should I handle my family. We don't believe we are "lowering" their education or holding them back from being social and making friends. If there is anyone out there who could give me some advice before my husbands just tells them all off

    Thanks so much,
    Jamie West

    www.southerngraycedesign.etsy.com (SAHM/WAHM)

  2. #2
    hearthstone_academy's Avatar
    hearthstone_academy is offline Administrator
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    Hi, Jamie. Welcome!

    People rarely question my decision to homeschool any more. When they have in the past, I have calmly let them know the subject is simply not open for discussion. My standard reply is, "My husband and I feel this is the best choice for our family." If they keep on throwing out things they're sure we haven't taken time to think about, I just repeat that exact same statement and change the subject. "My husband and I feel this is the best choice for our family. What should I bring to Christmas dinner?"

    The problem is that WE are set on convincing our families we're right, and THEY are set on convincing us we're wrong. You have to accept that you don't need your family's
    approval.

    That's my two cents, but this question has been discussed before, so I can pretty much guarantee you'll get a lot more input from members.
    Last edited by hearthstone_academy; 10-14-2010 at 02:44 PM.

    Mom of six . . . current students and homeschool graduates. Enjoying using Time4Learning since 2006!

  3. #3
    Strouse House's Avatar
    Strouse House is offline Senior Member
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    My family was against us homeschooling too. I was getting all kinds of yuck from them. My husband and I finally put our foot down and told them that homeschooling is not a topic for discussion. They are NOT allowed to ask our children what they are learning about, they are NOT to drill my child on what they "think" he or she should know.

    It only took a few quick change of subject or OK, I think we are done talking for today, for it to stop. They do not question us any more.


    Brandy - Christian (86), Wife (93), and Mother (boy 99, girl 07,boy 08). Homeschooling since 2003. Come check out our adventures in life and Time4Learning.com at Five in Training For Him.


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    Pyle Family is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    The statistical data on homeschooled children is on your side. Also, you could remind them that school is NOT for socializing, but for learning. Scouts or Sports are sufficient for those purposes. The social component to public schools is one of their major problems. Btw, we are considering a move to Florida, are the laws there homeschool friendly?

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    Strouse House's Avatar
    Strouse House is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pyle Family View Post
    The statistical data on homeschooled children is on your side. Also, you could remind them that school is NOT for socializing, but for learning. Scouts or Sports are sufficient for those purposes. The social component to public schools is one of their major problems. Btw, we are considering a move to Florida, are the laws there homeschool friendly?
    Florida is a great state to homeschool in. There are only a few things you have to do to homeschool in Florida. This is the link to the info on Homeschooling in Florida Florida Homeschooling Information
    Then I recommend you join the Florida State Group ask as many questions as you like and others from Florida will answer.
    Brandy - Christian (86), Wife (93), and Mother (boy 99, girl 07,boy 08). Homeschooling since 2003. Come check out our adventures in life and Time4Learning.com at Five in Training For Him.


  6. #6
    MamaToHerRoo's Avatar
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    I was incredibly lucky, my sister started homeschooling her oldest (who is now 22) when he was 8, and she has homeschooled all 10 (yes, 10) children, so she took the brunt of the familial grief about homeschooling. Outside of my family there are some naysayers about homeschooling but my response to them is "Thank you so much for your concern. My daughter goes to a very exclusive private school, in fact, there was only one place left in it, and she was accepted at birth. Additionally, the teacher student ratio is excellent, and she is a grade ahead of where she would be in public school. Further, we have social engagements 4 to 5 days a week. Her education and socialization are in excellent shape. What about your children, how are they doing?" This does 2 things, it answers their questions about quality of education, and social interaction. It also turns it back on them, with the hope that they spend more time evaluating the education of their own children, and less time focusing on the education of your children. Ultimately, as a homeschooler, you grow a thicker skin, and do what you think is right, regardless of the thoughts of other people on the subject. Results speak louder than words. When your children are well rounded, well behaved, well spoken, well educated, and excited, how can anyone argue with those results??
    Linda
    Homeschooling one for 8 years and counting!

  7. #7
    mamaneedham is offline Senior Member
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    Default Welcome to T4L!

    There will be an adjustment period while your kids get used to homeschooling, but after a while they will likely start to excel beyond what the public school kids are doing. If enough little tidbits about your kids winning the local spelling bee, entering a robotics competition, or playing in a piano recital, etc. get back to your dissenting family members, over time they will change their tune about how awful homeschooling is! Next time one of your kids is on the phone with grandma and says something like, "I have to go now - I haven't finished conjugating my French verbs yet today" will help too!

    I'm not trying to make light of your concerns, just add a dash of humor to the subject. Actually, the way families "come around" can happen exactly like this, and I know because it worked for me! Hang in there & give your family some time. But also know you really ARE doing what is right for your kids!
    Mom to five of the world's most incredible kids, and homeschooling all the way!

    "If the schools were perfect, I would still homeschool my children - because it isn't about school. It's about families taking back their children and educating them as they see best. School is only a substitute for the real thing."

    Nutrition Curriculum For Homeschoolers at NutritionForHealthyKids.com



  8. #8
    Yagwit is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Homeschooling is NOT the lowest form of education!

    We are accidental homeschoolers so this thread hit a cord with me. My family believes public education is just the "bees knees". I followed the crowd suffering through four long years of public school. I pulled my children out because of two separate traumatic incidents. We began homeschooling with no idea how to go about it. Luckily my job was internet searching for less net savvy consumers. I quickly discovered T4L. We started using it immediately. My family hated the idea of them laying around the house all day. They claimed they couldn't learn anything from me. I loved the insults! Appparently, I am neanderthal incapable of complex thought. I have a strong willed personality so I continued homeschooling them despite the "naysayers". My son attended public school for three years. After a week of instruction, I realized his skills were not at grade/age level. The school had been passing him on because he was "difficult". He has adhd (if you don't believe it exists, I invite you to spend an afternoon instructing him). I refused medication which angered the teachers. She said I was uncooperative and gave up on my sons education. At home I am able to sit with him as long as needed on one subject until he understands the material. I have no concerns of 30 other students needing my attention. Using T4L at home he has improved to fifth grade in all subjects but Social Studies where he has moved to sixth grade (in sixth months). His education was a series of drilling him for state tests. They were crazed by students lowering the amount of funding received from the government. My daughter has never struggled academically. She was being bullied. We do not tolerate an violence. The school found the bullying acceptable. I believe bullying was so stressful she stopped focusing on her studies. I strive to produce well-rounded individuals. She is very happy at home and her true friends live in the homes surrounding our own.
    Socializing your children: Community centers offer a wide variety of activities and opportunities for your child to interact with their peers. My children chat with their old friends online (strictly monitored!). New online friends must live in our town and have a parent to parent/child to child live meeting. My final note about friends is: I went to public school and didn't have any. I am no worse for wear. I would have rather been homeschooled to study and read until my heart's content. "Geeks" are not treated well in school, even though in the end we end up running things (kidding).
    What to tell the family: Give your family a dose of homeschooling with an assignment and due date! Have the research public education scores in the U.S.. We are among the lowest in the world. My children are not going to be a product of that system.
    I apologize for the long post! Congratulations on fostering individuality, intelligence, creativity, passion, and love in your child/ren. Homeschooling is extremely difficult, but so are all things worthwhile. Please email me @ [email protected] if you want to chat about being a HSM.







    Quote Originally Posted by JamieWest View Post
    Hello everyone, I hope someone out there can give me some encouraging ideas on this. My husband and I have chosen to homeschool our 4 children (12,7,6,5) and my family is TOTALLY against it and it is causing problems. Now I really don't care what they think, but it makes "family" difficult. Fortunately we moved to MT/ND from FL this past March and we don't have to "face" them, but talking to them is horrible.
    I have just signed up for T4L this morning to use. We are getting started late do to moving to ND from MT, but very excited to start. All our kids are excited to do it. My last conversation with my mother and sister didn't go well. They have always been against homeschooling thinking it is "lower" but my husband and I "hate" public school. I swear my 12 yr old is the "dumbest smart kid" because of public school. In FL all they cared about was the FCAT, come on there is more to learning than just passing the FCAT.
    In MT/ND the public schools are wanting to start teaching the students things we don't believe are appropriate. We already disagree with some issues in public school because we are Christians and we have different beliefs and now they are wanting to start teaching K-5 about homosexuality and their view points are not ours, plus they want to begin not only teaching but showing K-5 private parts and that is something we like to handle at home, especially with our younger ones, they are already curious, that will only make it more so.
    Anywho, how should I handle my family. We don't believe we are "lowering" their education or holding them back from being social and making friends. If there is anyone out there who could give me some advice before my husbands just tells them all off

    Thanks so much,
    Jamie West

    www.southerngraycedesign.etsy.com (SAHM/WAHM)

  9. #9
    mstzydeco is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    If it is that much of a problem about your dicision then just cut them off. They will come around, I am sorry but I am a hospice nurse and I see so much stuff and life is too short for what people have inbeded in there brain about what is wrong or right. I am having problem with my family now and want to move away, I was told that I was not going to do Sh__ when it comes down to homeschooling my kids and I have a jacked of way of thinking. When something is out of the norm or tradition then people do not understand and want to talk u down. I promise my only child that is in public school that I will stay around until he graduate from high school and that is 4 1/2 years from now. Do what ever make you and your family happy and forget the others u owe them nothing.

  10. #10
    Jamelle is offline Junior Member
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    Homeschooling is not easy...we don't just lay around all day and the idea of that is just hilarious to me. I have to continually tell my in laws that I'm very glad that you went to 'public school' and I'm very glad that you turned out the remarkable people that you are---but PUBLIC SCHOOL is NOT what it was when you were in there. I would love to see my mother and father in law sit in a public classroom for a week (esp. a High School Class)....LOL They would totally flip out at how things have changed....HA HA

    Anyway-on another note-we are a Christian family and I usually tell people that God layed this on our hearts and that it's His choice first-and we are just obeying His call. That seems to work for most people and if it doesn't I just tell them that again. I laugh it off and tell them to take it up with God!!!...(it's no use arguiing with them--and I'm not going to let it cause any friction if I can help it).

    ***Just-so you know***
    We are getting ready to bring our oldest home next year and we'll have to go through this all over again. She has been crying and begging us to stay in school-which ADDS to the comments from our family...but we feel this is the right choice and are covering her in prayer as she adjusts...

    Hang in there. I would try my hardest not to let it cause a wedge between you and your family b/c those scars could last a lifetime. If you have confidence in what you are doing is the right choice...they might not agree with you BUT they will eventually respect you for your stand.

    Jamelle Shields
    Mom of 3 beautiful (and hormonal-he he) girls!!!
    Jamelle

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