Need help reasoning with the other parent!
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  1. #1
    shavonsweda is offline Junior Member
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    Default Need help reasoning with the other parent!

    Hello everyone,
    I am new to T4L. I haven't officially started, but would like to after summer. I have a daughter that just finished 4th grade and has gone to the same public school from the start. She has always loved to learn, is outgoing, caring, and always done really well academically and socially. We have had some great experiences thru the years, but I have noticed some things last year and this year I wasn't to happy about...such as... some students getting passed to the next grade level when CLEARLY they should not of been...also some teaching styles... mehhh..not so great...and the student to teacher ratio is crazy!! Also here in Arizona there is a BIG emphasis placed on AIMS testing. I feel that because the classroom sizes are so large and all year long they prep them for AIMS, there is not a whole lot of time spent on individual learning needs..(i know i am not the only one who thinks this, its probably just the 'norm' for public school). Homeschooling is something i have been wanting to do for about 2 years now. I finally realized...what am i waiting for??! I have the circumstances to homeschool her and i know she will get a better one to one education and enjoy several other benefits. I also have some friends that homeschool there children that have helped inspired me as well. And all of my daughters friends she spends time with are not at school they are in are christian congregation..so she is not going to be missing out on an socialization. So here is the deal... I have been married for 5 years & have a great supportive husband, whom is on board with my journey to home school my only daughter age 10(his step-daughter)...however her natural father is not keen to the idea of having her do homeschool. On his side of the family she is the baby of 5 children. All his children attend public school, they are really great kids and do well academically...i think because of this he thinks it is unnecessary to homeschool. He is also not of the same faith as I am...and does not adhere to most bible principles, making sharing our daughter less than ideal. I know homeschooling her will be the best thing I can for her and our family and will come come with many benefits...so how do I convince the 'other parent' of this??? (Sorry this post is so long, thank you for taking your time to read it)

  2. #2
    lovehmschlg's Avatar
    lovehmschlg is offline Forum Moderator
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    Default

    Shavonsweda, All the things you have said are the sentiments of many families who have chosen to homeschool.
    And it is difficult when one parent is not convinced on the idea of homeschooling.

    Your best bet with your daughter's dad is to try to address his concerns of why he doesn't want her homeschooled. He may have some preconceived uninformed notions or ideas about homeschooling, which may be completely erroneous. I would recommend you doing some research regarding homeschooling to present to him. I can give you this link for the Homeschool Legal Defense Association, which is a wonderful source of information. This link has a lot of information on homeschooling statistics. There are even some images you can print out for him, if he is more visual.
    And that's another point you can address with him. The many different learning styles, and how you can teach to your daughter, meeting her own learning style and teaching one on one. Find websites and learn as much as you can about homeschooling. Maybe even visit some local homeschool support groups. Your daughter would be able to participate in co-ops, events, clubs (yearbook club, drama club).

    Lastly, depending on your relationship with him, you could invite him to dinner with one or two other families who homeschool (with their children). That's what did it for me. I was very impressed as I met families (kids) who homeschool. Just ask him to keep an open mind. As a last resort, you could even ask him to agree to at least a year or two and see how it works out. It doesn't have to be a permanent choice.
    Janet
    enjoying homeschooling and learning with my kids, using T4L and T4W
    blogging our homeschool experiences at The Learning Hourglass


  3. #3
    capitalkid is offline Junior Member
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    Default

    I think the reply above has some great ideas to try.

    Some people are just reinforced with the idea that HS is "BAD". It is why HSLDA exists. To defend these preconceived notions of the select few who go this route. we have a family we are friends with, who's wife wants to HS, but the husband "does not believe in homeschooling".

    I said to her"people BELIEVE in god, to Believe is to just go on faith alone with something that has no proof." The success in HS has Proof and is well documented.

    It really is a matter of exposure and intelligence. Our friends neither one of them finished school, he quit at 8th grade and her at 7th(not that this depicts ones intelligence at all-however the inability to put two and two together in the course of daily living does depict level of intelligence), neither one really does self education nor are politically aware of things happening around them. They call us to explain to them "Big words" like 'vengeance". I think really its better they dont HS, but the issue is there are people just like them out their "making their mind up" about the techniques and individuality of the HS community and the fact is they just are not educated enough to even have an opinion about it, but are judging it all the same.
    It would be as if you tried to argue politics about the house leadership with someone who does not know what a Town Council is.

    Anyway, if you have Sole legal custody it wont matter what his opinion is, as the right to decide for the education falls under legal part of the equation of the person so named Sole. Otherwise Exposure to the positive side of things as mentioned above is a great way to shed light on the subject.

    Good luck.

  4. #4
    lovehmschlg's Avatar
    lovehmschlg is offline Forum Moderator
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    Default

    I just wanted to add that maybe you could do a trial period over the summer or for one year. I would make sure that on each visit with her dad, I would send a folder to their father's house with all of their schoolwork or progress reports so he still feels included. With Time4Learning you have access to all the student's scores. The progress reports are printable for your records. You can notify him of all sports games, piano recitals, ballet recitals..anything she is involved in...to help him feel included just as he would be in public school.
    Our kids are very active in our local homeschool support group. We have Spelling Bees, Geography Bees, Yearbook Club, Drama Club, Easter Egg Hunts, Thanksgiving Feasts (entire family are welcome). Show him these things.

    By the way, I write about our homeschool experiences on our blog. Our daughter just graduated from homeschool this month and I wrote about it and included a short video clip. You can see that she looks like a very normal teenager..whatever normal is. lol


    Good luck!
    Janet
    enjoying homeschooling and learning with my kids, using T4L and T4W
    blogging our homeschool experiences at The Learning Hourglass


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