No support from husband
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  1. #1
    Dottie is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default No support from husband

    I am a stay at home mother, I have a 3 year old son and a 5 month old daughter. I have a yearning desire to home school my children. I brought the topic up with my husband to home school our son and he thought I was insane. He is the sole provider for the family. His main response, "you need to get a job". How can I resolve the matter were all of us are happy. HELP!!!!!

  2. #2
    Syd'sMom is offline Member
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    Hi Dottie,

    This is really tough to comment on. I can tell you that my experience is that HS'ing works best when it is a family decision. I can also tell you from my experience that to get my husband "on board" with a new or different idea, it's good to start early. You did. You have some time to work on this. Do your research and learn about the benefits of HS'ing. You've obviously been doing that because you found this forum. Share those benefits with your husband in small doses when appropriate and give him a chance to warm up to the idea.

    Can you suggest some sort of compromise? Can you work part time? Does he know what daycare would cost for your younger one and before-and-after-school care would cost for your older one if you worked full-time? It's expensive. Second incomes don't go as far as some people think when there is travel, a professional wardrobe, and daycare involved. I guess if you're a lawyer or something that logic won't work. I know when my kids were that age and I looked at what I would actually make, it just didn't pay for us to leave them with strangers that much. I got a part-time job in the evenings. I have a friend who waitresses Friday and Saturday evenings. She makes good money. Not lawyer money, but good money for working two shifts. As my kids got older, I did start working more. I work days now, but it's only about 30 hours a week.

    Give him some time. It might take a while, but eventually instead of thinking you are insane, he might just think it's a little crazy. Then he might get to, "A bit strange, don't you think?" Then it might be, "She really wants to do this." Eventually he just might realize he married a brilliant woman who is willing to make sacrifices to protect the interests of his children. I think it could happen. Good luck

  3. #3
    hearthstone_academy's Avatar
    hearthstone_academy is offline Administrator
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    I can tell you what I did . . . almost fourteen years ago. ;-) My husband is now SUCH a vocal supporter of homeschooling that it's embarrassing sometimes.

    I quietly started teaching my children at home, well before they were of school age. I used a very gentle and inexpensive curriculum . . . Five in a Row. (There's also BEFORE Five in a Row, which is probably a better place to start with kids your age.) With this, you read a story and do activities associated with the story. The kids don't even know it's school. They just think Mommy is playing with them! My husband is a nurse. When one of the kids complained, during a soccer game, about being kicked in his "tibia", my husband was hooked! ;-) (We had discussed names of various bones . . . just for fun . . . after reading a story where a child thought his leg might be broken.)

    If money is a huge issue, start now to show how frugal you can be! It's also possible to homeschool and work outside the home. See our working homeschooler forums below.

    At $19.99/month, Time4Learning is a VERY inexpensive option for preschool.

    Mom of six . . . current students and homeschool graduates. Enjoying using Time4Learning since 2006!

  4. #4
    marshall & ben's mom's Avatar
    marshall & ben's mom is offline Junior Member
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    My husband was def NOT for us homeschooling. We put our 4 year old in preschool in August and went with that. In Oct he found out he was going to Texas for three months for training so I moved the kids back home so that I could have help. I put him in preschool there. He loved riding the bus and he made friends but he wasn't learning much. When we got back I tried to get him back in and they had no openings and the preschool program wouldn't call me back so I started looking for other options so that I could have him ready for kindergarten. A friend suggested time4learning so I showed the site to my husband and he gave me the go ahead because we had no other option. We are about a month in and they are learning SOOOO much. My husband has started talking about it with people he works with and now he is all for it. I totally agree with Kelly...start doing things with the kids like she did and let him see how great it is for them. Good luck hun!!

  5. #5
    Yca's Avatar
    Yca
    Yca is offline Senior Member
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    i agree in that starting now is the best decision, and being honest with him. have a good long heart-to-heart about why you are feeling so convicted to do this. but remember to listen to him, too. there could be something that is very important that is keeping him from being on board and you need to be open to that.

    because they are so young, go ahead and start doing some pre-school stuff now. read a lot, sing abc songs and the like. find a preschool group and go on field trips. do everything you would do if they were school-aged.

    syd's mom is absolutely correct in looking at the cost involved. i was a paralegal (working for lawyers lol), and when my two oldest were tiny, i had them in day care for awhile. by the time i paid for their day care, and the gas to run to work ... i only made about $40 a week. look into some REPUTABLE work-from-home options. consider part time. have you looked into the new couponing craze?? a friend of mine devotes a few hours to it a week and says that she SAVES the same amount that she would EARN if she worked part time. (still ahven't figured out the secret for myself tho, so don't ask me lol)

    keep us updated and let us know ... we're always here
    ~ Yca ~
    (otherwise known as Jess )

    Wife to Dave and Mom to Red - 13, The Princess - 11, Fluffyheaded Diva - 6, and Sir Smiley - 3
    Read about our adventures HERE!


  6. #6
    IrishMamato2Irishkiddos is offline Junior Member
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    Perhaps it would help if he met other homeschoolers so he can see how they function. Do you have a support group or information class that is going on in your area? If so, and if he is welling you might want to bring him. Send him websites, and do your research. Good luck

  7. #7
    MamaMary's Avatar
    MamaMary is offline Senior Member
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    Dear (((Dottie))) First of all, I hear your heart and your desire and I do pray that it works out so that you can homeschool. I love all the tips and suggestions that have been given so far. My favorite is to start doing TIme4Learnings preschool right now and as you begin to work with your children he may begin to see another side. However, I want you to hear my heart. Your marriage is far more important then homeschooling. I know you know this, but sometimes it helps to hear another voice. I've known moms who made it happen at all costs and though not all of them have gone through divorce they have gone through some really rough spots in their marriage. You will be married to your husband far longer than you will have your children at home. Though I love homeschooling and I'm preparing to complete my 12th year it always comes in second place to having a passionate marriage. I would hold homeschooling loosely in your hand. I also am praying with all my heart that you really can have both. (((Big Hugs)))
    Mary, Child of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ! Wife to best friend and Mama to her four boys 91, 96, 00, 02, Homeschooling since 1998! Come visit us on our blog! http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/

  8. #8
    davidb is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Maybe you should give him a list with all the positive reasons for doing this and explain carefully to him why you want to give homeschooling. Maybe then he will see more reason

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