Want to start homeschooling, but have little support
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Thread: Want to start homeschooling, but have little support

  1. #1
    Nichole is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Want to start homeschooling, but have little support

    Christmas break is over. New year, same attitude. After going back to school for one day, my sweet little girl, first grader, comes home with the same old nasty little attitude that she develops from being in school. When she was home for two and a half weeks though, the attitude vanished (although it did take a few days). It vanishes over summer break too. I feel like my child resents me for making her go to school, then she picks up the attitude from other kids. She can be quite difficult.

    On top of the attitude and general lack of desire to learn at school, I do not feel the school program is adequate. She is missing vital building blocks and there are "holes" in her education. She has cried to me a few times asking me why I can't teach her math and reading. She's horrible at math, but I was never any good at it either. So when I teach her math, I can break it down extremely far for her, because that's what it took for me to be able to learn it. And it works for her too. She's reading at an advanced level for her age. But, because I love reading and writing, my love of it has poured over to her since she was a baby. I have received notes from the teacher telling me that I need to work more with my child on math, which I had already been doing for a while. But you can't expect a child to grasp a concept in an hour and remember it forever, which is how the curriculum is. Then my daughter is always in trouble. At this point, I feel that she's getting in trouble for wiping her nose the wrong way. Last year she was constantly picked on by the teacher, and this year isn't as bad, but she comes home with a lot of negative notes.

    I have been talking about homeschooling for a couple years now. My husband is finally starting to see what's going on at school and doesn't like it. But he STONGLY feels that she needs to socialize and that she would be missing out on things if we take her out of public school. He thinks she needs to learn how to deal with conflicts with other kids that come up. His mother feels the same way. I put up a good argument for all this and then point out her attitude and it worsens with school. I ask him, if he can't control his six year old now, how will he be able to when she's sixteen. Her attitude gets that bad. She thinks we are stupid, unfair, horrible, lazy.....I can't count how many times I've gotten after her for rolling her eyes or growling at me. Or even flat out yelling at me for no reason. But, when she's on break, the attitude disappears and I have my sweet, cuddly, loving, energetic, enthusiastic, bright eyed little girl back.

    If I can't convince my husband that homeschooling might be the best for her, then I won't be able to do it. My mother backs my decision to do it 100%. I've told him all I have to do is go to the school and submit my letter of intent and dis-enroll her. She's my kid too. And I want to see her thrive and become a bright responsible person. I'm afraid of what's to come if she stays in public school.

    In need of some guidance and perhaps some hear other people's stories.

    Thank you,
    Nichole
    MamaToHerRoo likes this.

  2. #2
    kmgm is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    I understand your concern for your daughters future if left in public school. I started homeschooling my son 2 years ago due to many of the same issues. my only regret is not doing so sooner ! I was lucky enough that my husband and both our families completely supported that decision. Unfortunately some very close friends did not, and amazingly socialization is about the only argument I ever hear. There are tons of ways for your daughter to socialize while homeschooling. Look into joining a home school group in your area, there are probably a few that plan outings and field trips to attend together. You can enroll her in girl scouts or some other club/youth group! Church is a great way for her to interact with people her own age. Our school district even allows homeschoolers to participate in extracurricular activities!! Look into your options and share them with your husband and his mom to help ease their fears. Dont forget to remind them that part of the reason you want to try this is because of the negative attitudes socialization at school has already caused! If it comes down to it you can point out that she can be enrolled back in school just as easily as she is taken out if things don't work out. HSLDA | Socialization: Homeschoolers Are in the Real World check out this for more information on the benifets of type of socialization homeschoolers get hope this helps

  3. #3
    lovehmschlg's Avatar
    lovehmschlg is offline Forum Moderator
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    Hi, Nichole.
    I'm sorry for the trouble you've been having with the school and the attitudes your little girl is picking up. I completely agree with everything you say. The arguments your husband and mom bring up are the same arguments most people who are not familiar with homeschooling or don't know families who homeschool bring up too. You've probably been objectively researching homeschooling, while they haven't had the chance to do that. The first question I would ask is what do you mean by socialization? And whom do you want teaching your child good socialization skills? A classroom of 20-plus kids who are mostly left to themselves in the arena of socialization skills? I don't see much correction of bullying or teaching of good social skills happening in the schools. Teachers just don't have the time for that...and they're dealing with enough poor attitudes. Like they say, "the proof is in the pudding." Walk into any middle school or high school and tell me how impressed you are with the good social skills you observe in most of these kids.

    We've been homeschooling 3 of our kids for 13 years now. My oldest daughter graduates this year. She's always been homeschooled. Her older brother (by 9 years) attended public school, and he says he wishes he'd been homeschooled and plans to homeschool his kids. My daughter and her younger siblings have more friends than he had in school. They've learned so much more socially and academically. The great part is that my hs'ed kids have had the same friends since they were little, and our friends are mutual. Meaning my kids share the same friends, and their parents are friends with us parents. Kids that are homeschooled tend to socialize with adults and kids of all ages. My daughter can easily sit with her friends' moms and seek good counsel from them (I know and trust them). My kids are comfortable playing with younger kids and holding a conversation with adults (while looking at them in their eyes). We socialize with kids of all ages. They're not segragated by age. So if we have an event at the park and the kids are playing soccer, you'll see kids as young as 7 and as old as 18 playing together....and happily, respectfully. There is not belittling or bullying. At least we haven't experienced that.

    Now that my older homeschooled kids are teenagers, they both have part-time jobs. They do experience rude people who are selfish and unkind. They didn't need to experience that growing up to learn how to deal with people like this. We've taught them good character at home. That's one of the main reasons we homeschool. We understand that hurting people hurt people. Another person's character should never affect their own character. When a child is in school 7 hours and at home a few hours, of which they're doing homework or getting ready for bed, there's not a lot of quality time to teach good character. Especially when they're learning these bad habits at school.

    I suggest you find local homeschool support groups. Get connected. Our support group has many events and field trips in addition to classes like music, language, art. And we have drama club, P.E. club, 4-H, and more. Lots of opportunity for good socialization with mom and/or dad present to observe and correct when needed.

    You will LOVE homeschooling. I'm so thankful for this forum and for the internet. Ask any questions you have here.
    I've found a few great links you can read or share with your family on homeschool socialization myths.
    Homeschooling and Socialization: Myths Vs Facts
    K - 12 - FamilyEducation.com
    Debunking the Homeschool 'Socialization' Myth - Atlanta Homeschooling | Examiner.com

    I think your daughter would love Time4Learning. As for math, T4L has been a great help for my daughter (2nd grade math). If she gets an answer wrong, the program is prompted to teach the concept in a different way until she understands better.

    I look forward to hearing back from you and hope you start homeschooling.
    Last edited by lovehmschlg; 01-09-2014 at 01:42 PM.
    MamaToHerRoo and kmgm like this.
    Janet
    enjoying homeschooling and learning with my kids, using T4L and T4W
    blogging our homeschool experiences at The Learning Hourglass


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