Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?
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  1. #1
    mom1teacher2 is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    We've been using T4L this summer and my DS has breezed through the first part of 1st grade and I'm loving teaching him at home. Kindergarten in public school really didn't go well. He's high-functioning autistic, which means his development is really close to "normal" with a few quirks that the ps teachers just seemed to have more problems with than I expected. He did gain a lot of positives from ps, but not in an academic sense. Even in the social sense, I feel like he learned more negatives than positives. Anyway, I'm also a public school teacher and feeling a bit like a traitor because I'm totally not believing in my own system. As the school year fast approaches, I'm fighting a sick feeling in my stomach at the idea of both of us going back to school. Do I dare yank him and just do this at home?

  2. #2
    SahmIam is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    You are a teacher, but you are a mother first. What do you think would be best for your son? Do you feel that his overall needs are met better at the school, or with you at home? Are there other issues that have to go into your decision, like finances, family attitudes, or other things? Just a few things that I'm thinking about myself as my own (autistic) son quickly approaches the age to go to school.

    Also, let us know if you have any other questions. This is a supportive forum.
    Melissa.

  3. #3
    aandwsmom's Avatar
    aandwsmom is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    ITA with Melissa!
    I am not a teacher but grew up in a teaching household and was basically raised in the public school system. To homeschool went against everything I had been raised with.
    I wanted to homeschool when my boys were little because part of me wasnt ready to leave and part of me was worried that my oldest son with ADHD wouldnt get it.
    I sent them to PS because DH was totally against it.
    As our schools lost more and more $$ and quality went down, stuff was cancelled, etc. the decision became easier.
    When my older son started what we thought was a FABULOUS middle school last year, we had our eyes opened BIG TIME. The school failed to meet our standards, his ADHD was rampant and the aggravation of school, lack of learning or care provided by teachers, etc. made the decision for us.
    My son for the first time in 6 years of school, learned. He smiled, he was happy to do schoolwork using T4L.
    I didnt listen to my gut the first time around, but was very glad that I did the second time. We are now total homeschool supporters for both my kids. DH is in love with it.

    I know that it must be hard for you because you are going against your career. Can you afford to take a year off and try it? That is what I would do. See if he improves by having a whole year at home. If you cant, are there programs or other schools you can put him in that would better suit his needs?

    HUGS in whatever decision you make!!

  4. #4
    Cally is offline Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    Mom1Teacher2,
    I feel for the position you're in. I don't think you should feel like a traitor though. PS and HS-ing are thought of so often for there differences. Yet when you reduce it down to the most important thing they do it is the same thing. "Educating Children"!!!! Never feel bad about wanting whats best for your child!!!!!
    My thoughts are with you while you make this decision.
    Cally

  5. #5
    denimay's Avatar
    denimay is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    I too am a certified teacher with lots of experience in public school. I'm a really good teacher and I found the whole "school" thing was really grinding me down. I pretty much went my own way (inner-city school, no real supervision or support from admin.) and was always in trouble but my sudents were very successful so they mostly left me alone. I spent a small fortune of my own money on books and materials and I put in long hours. I started where my students were both individually and collectively and moved them forward with mastery as the primary goal. In the past 15yrs or so the academics have been pushed down so that what I learned back in dinosaur times is now expected much earlier and at younger and younger ages. When I was in school kindergarten was developmental and many kids didn't go to kindergarten at all; but started with first grade. NOW kids are expected to be able to read in kindergarten if not before. Some can of course, but many are really not ready until about age 7 or 8 and the stress of formal academics at very young ages is horrific........in my humble opinion. I now teach university level education courses online and "tutor" children struggling with kinder through about 5th grade. I've said for years that I think SCHOOL is one of the 2 worst things we do to children. (the other is dairy...don't get me started! *L*) I actually LOVED school and got a pretty good education in public school. I was the only child of a single, working mother........but again.....it was long ago when schools were better I think. My own son is now 8 and has a significant speech delay and who knows what else.....but I think we're ready for academics now and he will only go to SCHOOL if he wants to go......otherwise we'll home/unschool for as long as we're both happy. I miss "my kids" and my classroom and fall is always a bittersweet time for me......I also miss the paycheck...but I don't miss all the STUFF or the testing or the brutal things expected/allowed to go on in today's schools. I wouldn't send my son to public school for all the diamonds in South Africa! just my 2 cents...........deni.......
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  6. #6
    cindy4hope is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    denimay, I know what your talking about when it comes to some public schools. I am a substitute teacher, well don't know how much I'll do this year because I'm homeschooling my 8 year old daughter. After working in the schools for a while I saw how much she needed me, she is struggling a little in her reading and I know she won't get caught up in ps. So we will concentrate hard on reading this year because she is in 3rd grade and if she gets any futher behind it'll be hard to catch up. Reading effects every subject. There are kids being passed on to the next grade level that can't read it amazed me! and they weren't getting any help just a pat on the shoulder.

    Best of Luck,

    Cindy

  7. #7
    hearthstone_academy's Avatar
    hearthstone_academy is offline Administrator
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    Public schools work well for some kids. You seem to feel homeschooling would work best for your own child. You don't have to take sides. Each choice has its own set of merits and drawbacks. Choosing to homeschool your son doesn't have to mean you completely withdraw all support for the public school system.

    Mom of six . . . current students and homeschool graduates. Enjoying using Time4Learning since 2006!

  8. #8
    cindy4hope is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    Oh I'm not saying I won't send my daughter back to public school, I'm just saying for right now this is what is best. After we get her reading skills up to where they should be we may send her back in 5th grade, but that is something that is just in the back of my mind right now.

    I do think there are some great teachers out there that care very much about their students. But for the kids that need a little extra help there wasn't alot of help in our ps the teacher had about 24 students in her class and if one got a little behind she didn't have time to help the way she may of wanted to.

    Blessings,

    Cindy

  9. #9
    Kirahfaye is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    Remember this, whatever your decision is/was (notes date of OP) it IS reversible!

    We discussed homeschooling out 13 year old daughter after an nearly disastrous 7th grade last school year. However, after doing well in summer school, we all decided she'd be okay in public school again. We were wrong and now, barely a month into the public school calendar year, I've pulled her out and started homeschooling her last week. We might put her back in ps for high school; then again we might not.

    Whatever you do, do what you feel is best for your son and don't let guilt get to you. And don't be afraid to change gears!

  10. #10
    created2heal is offline Junior Member Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you help me decide - bite the bullet or not?

    I too had a lot of mixed emotions about homeschooling Steven (age 12), as a former teacher with a father-in-law who is a teacher. We really heard about it! But the reality for us is that Steven has very high functioning Aspergers, just "off" enough socially that he made a great target going into middle school, but didn't qualify for any services so that even academically he was slipping through the cracks because he wasn't a problem in class, as opposed to his more 'normal" peers. I do know this, we are only getting one shot at raising this little angel and if homeschooling is what he needs, then we just do it, as well as whatever else needs to be done. Forget the guilt. Follow your heart, it doesn't lie. I know this isn't timely, but I just had to respond!
    Live Well!
    Kevin

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